0
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew

1
00:00:48,362 --> 00:00:51,923
When it gets cold outside,
New Yorkers head inside...

2
00:00:51,998 --> 00:00:54,489
and look for ways to generate heat.

3
00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:58,330
Hey, watch those hands, mister.

4
00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:01,505
They are cold and you are warm, so...

5
00:01:01,875 --> 00:01:03,172
People are looking.

6
00:01:03,243 --> 00:01:04,904
No one is looking.

7
00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:06,810
Petrovsky.

8
00:01:07,714 --> 00:01:08,908
Hi.

9
00:01:09,483 --> 00:01:11,144
Seated at the star table, I see.

10
00:01:11,218 --> 00:01:12,742
Where else would I be?

11
00:01:13,153 --> 00:01:15,178
- Come and join us.
- No, we wouldn't want to...

12
00:01:15,255 --> 00:01:16,654
- No.
- Yes, come.

13
00:01:16,723 --> 00:01:18,315
You've saved our lives.

14
00:01:18,392 --> 00:01:21,418
10,000 restaurants in New York,
and everyone's at Pastis.

15
00:01:21,728 --> 00:01:23,195
Introductions.

16
00:01:23,263 --> 00:01:27,927
This is John Paul Sandal,
the most fantastic painter in New York.

17
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,866
I'm not paying for lunch.

18
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:33,161
- You know my assistant Lee.
- Yes. Hi.

19
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,698
Audra Clark.
She's the editor of Art/Life magazine.

20
00:01:37,277 --> 00:01:38,869
- Carrie Bradshaw.
- Hi.

21
00:01:38,945 --> 00:01:42,312
Handsome Lee has just informed us
of your upcoming show in Paris.

22
00:01:42,382 --> 00:01:44,111
- Congratulations.
- Yeah, right.

23
00:01:44,184 --> 00:01:47,676
A solo exhibit
at the Galerie Nationale du Jeu de Paume...

24
00:01:48,054 --> 00:01:49,578
Just another day.

25
00:01:49,756 --> 00:01:53,419
- You are so full of shit.
- I never said I wasn't.

26
00:01:53,493 --> 00:01:56,553
This is your first new exhibit in, what,
four years?

27
00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:57,688
Six.

28
00:01:57,764 --> 00:02:01,325
The world is waiting
with breath that is bated.

29
00:02:01,635 --> 00:02:03,660
We need menus and a wine list.

30
00:02:04,004 --> 00:02:06,905
- So, how are they?
- The oysters? Very good.

31
00:02:06,973 --> 00:02:08,497
No, his pieces.

32
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,838
I don't know. I haven't seen them yet.

33
00:02:12,913 --> 00:02:15,814
- Are you an artist as well?
- No, I'm a writer.

34
00:02:15,882 --> 00:02:17,076
Novels?

35
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:20,319
No, I write a column for a newspaper.

36
00:02:20,387 --> 00:02:22,855
- The Times?
- The New York Star.

37
00:02:22,923 --> 00:02:27,292
It's a very good column.
About women, men, and sex.

38
00:02:27,994 --> 00:02:30,121
Very smart, and very funny.

39
00:02:30,464 --> 00:02:31,692
I'm sure.

40
00:02:31,765 --> 00:02:33,960
You're not sure, you are snide.

41
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:38,027
- May I borrow your newspaper?
- No, what are you...

42
00:02:38,104 --> 00:02:39,594
Let them listen.

43
00:02:40,407 --> 00:02:44,673
"It's my belief
that the last time anyone actually enjoyed...

44
00:02:44,744 --> 00:02:48,145
"the 69 position was in 1969."

45
00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:52,379
I think it's funny.

46
00:02:53,386 --> 00:02:56,844
That wasn't one of my smartest.

47
00:03:01,328 --> 00:03:04,388
And further uptown,
Charlotte didn't mind the cold.

48
00:03:04,464 --> 00:03:06,932
She had a new puppy love to keep her warm.

49
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,999
- That is the most precious little thing.
- Thank you.

50
00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:12,334
- What's her name?
- Elizabeth Taylor.

51
00:03:14,975 --> 00:03:17,500
That is the fourth person to stop and gush.

52
00:03:17,577 --> 00:03:19,875
I swear, that dog's getting cruised
more than me...

53
00:03:19,946 --> 00:03:21,777
and we're on the corner of Gay and Gay.

54
00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,679
She loves the attention, doesn't she?

55
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:26,082
Look how she prances along.
Do you see her prancing?

56
00:03:26,152 --> 00:03:27,619
Yes, she's very prancey.

57
00:03:27,687 --> 00:03:30,850
She was a show dog.
She even competed at Westminster.

58
00:03:30,991 --> 00:03:32,049
Did she ever win anything?

59
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:36,755
No, but I think that was only because
her last owner wasn't very supportive.

60
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,958
I think she misses the competition.
See how she's showing off?

61
00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,466
She's a freaking attention-whore.

62
00:03:41,535 --> 00:03:43,230
- Cute dog.
- Thank you.

63
00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:45,267
I'm thinking of re-entering her.

64
00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:47,772
I think with my love,
and a little encouragement...

65
00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:49,706
she could actually win. What do you think?

66
00:03:49,776 --> 00:03:51,107
What the hell? Do it.

67
00:03:51,177 --> 00:03:53,270
"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

68
00:03:54,614 --> 00:03:56,605
Dirty Dancing. Hello?

69
00:03:57,150 --> 00:04:01,951
And over in Brooklyn,
someone was not feeling so prancey.

70
00:04:06,359 --> 00:04:07,986
Your face is freezing.

71
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:11,690
I had to walk all the way from the subway
in these heels, and my feet hurt.

72
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:14,598
Why don't you carry them
and wear sneakers like everyone else?

73
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:18,798
Stop. You can take me out of Manhattan,
but you can't take me out of my shoes.

74
00:04:18,872 --> 00:04:20,669
Then stop complaining about them.

75
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:23,402
You're right, I have much bigger things
to complain about.

76
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:25,944
Did you get a chance
to install my DSL line today?

77
00:04:26,012 --> 00:04:27,946
I was putting up Sheetrock in Brady's room.

78
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:30,539
Steve, you know I can't live
without internet access.

79
00:04:30,617 --> 00:04:32,915
You want your kid to live without walls?

80
00:04:32,986 --> 00:04:34,851
Here, this ought to cheer you up.

81
00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:37,014
The Pony Express
finally got our address right.

82
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:38,455
- We have mail?
- Yeah.

83
00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:41,121
My Tattle Tale came.

84
00:04:41,328 --> 00:04:43,728
Finally, a connection to the real world.

85
00:04:43,797 --> 00:04:45,924
I can't believe that you read that crap.

86
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:48,399
I love it. It's my thing. Let it go.

87
00:04:50,203 --> 00:04:53,832
- Magda and Brady are...
- I'm reading this. You no longer exist.

88
00:04:54,975 --> 00:04:58,741
That night, over at the only restaurant
that seemed to exist...

89
00:04:59,412 --> 00:05:01,812
There's Samantha's boyfriend Smith.

90
00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:04,213
- Where?
- Star table. Let's say hello.

91
00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:08,380
I'm nervous. He is so unbelievably hot
in that Gus Van Sant movie.

92
00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:13,519
But can he pull off
a fuchsia Oswald Boateng shirt?

93
00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:16,290
Hi. Sorry to interrupt.

94
00:05:16,363 --> 00:05:18,388
We've met before.
We're friends of Samantha's.

95
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,763
I hear she's a wonderful woman.

96
00:05:21,101 --> 00:05:22,625
My God.

97
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:26,268
That's a good look for you.
It's very Jefferson Starship.

98
00:05:26,339 --> 00:05:30,571
I decided to turn a little hair loss
into a lot of hair gain.

99
00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,441
You're getting wiggy with it.

100
00:05:32,512 --> 00:05:34,673
Come on, jam in here, right next to me.

101
00:05:35,315 --> 00:05:37,215
We don't want to disturb...

102
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,342
Are you kidding? Any friend of Samantha's.

103
00:05:39,419 --> 00:05:40,511
Okay.

104
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,548
This is my boyfriend Marcus.
Marcus, Smith Jerrod.

105
00:05:43,957 --> 00:05:45,515
What are you drinking? Looks yummy.

106
00:05:45,592 --> 00:05:47,082
Smith Jerrod.

107
00:05:47,661 --> 00:05:48,923
All right.

108
00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:52,294
- How you doing, boss?
- Dude, my girl loves you.

109
00:05:52,832 --> 00:05:54,231
You gotta let me get a picture.

110
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,632
- Only if you get my friends here.
- All right.

111
00:05:59,005 --> 00:06:00,165
I heard...

112
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,336
that Aleksandr Petrovsky
is having a solo show in Paris.

113
00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:06,473
Don't believe everything you hear.

114
00:06:06,546 --> 00:06:09,174
It's exciting. Tell me about your show.

115
00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:12,617
Why would I want to talk about my work...

116
00:06:13,119 --> 00:06:15,485
when I have you in bed with me?

117
00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:20,391
Because I want to know about it.
Because it's important to you.

118
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:23,129
This is what's important to me.

119
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,491
I'm serious. Come on.

120
00:06:28,568 --> 00:06:31,366
So am I. Very serious.

121
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:33,333
I just...

122
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:36,903
I want to know more about what you do...

123
00:06:37,143 --> 00:06:38,610
if for no other reason...

124
00:06:38,678 --> 00:06:41,977
than I would like to avoid
having this face in restaurants.

125
00:06:45,218 --> 00:06:49,951
I prefer to keep
my work and my private life separate.

126
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:52,822
All this art talk is so fucking boring.

127
00:06:53,193 --> 00:06:55,252
It wouldn't be to me.

128
00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:57,857
Then you are the exception to the rule.

129
00:06:58,098 --> 00:07:01,033
If you're not going to tell me...

130
00:07:01,101 --> 00:07:04,036
about the Galerie Nationale
de blah-blah-blah...

131
00:07:04,104 --> 00:07:06,595
then I need to get serious
about my busy day.

132
00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:08,197
Don't go.

133
00:07:08,274 --> 00:07:11,607
- I have many important...
- The schedule.

134
00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:13,236
You're so New York.

135
00:07:13,346 --> 00:07:15,211
Stay here, do nothing.

136
00:07:15,849 --> 00:07:18,647
Get in trouble, be spontaneous.

137
00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:23,515
But I'm meeting people for things.

138
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:28,520
It's cold out there.
Stay here, where it's warm.

139
00:07:31,664 --> 00:07:34,326
Samantha, I don't know
how to tell you this...

140
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,767
but I was reading my Tattle Tale,
and there's a picture of Smith.

141
00:07:37,837 --> 00:07:41,068
Miranda! What in the world are you doing
reading something like that?

142
00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:42,665
I love it. It's my thing. Let it go.

143
00:07:42,742 --> 00:07:44,334
Smith is always in that rag.

144
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:46,275
Yeah, but this time...

145
00:07:46,946 --> 00:07:48,174
he's gay.

146
00:07:52,385 --> 00:07:56,651
"Smith Jerrod cozies up to
Broadway dancer, Marcus Adant...

147
00:07:56,723 --> 00:07:59,123
"and unidentified older gay gentleman."

148
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:00,483
Poor Stanford.

149
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,324
- Smith is not gay.
- Of course not.

150
00:08:03,396 --> 00:08:06,888
- So this makes you his beard.
- I'm a beard in a wig.

151
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:08,895
You're not upset?

152
00:08:08,968 --> 00:08:12,995
Please, after the Big C,
you don't sweat the small stuff.

153
00:08:13,239 --> 00:08:17,505
And besides, once the gay rumors start,
it means you're really a star.

154
00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:22,503
Hello?

155
00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:23,913
Hi, sweetie. It's me.

156
00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:25,507
Carrie, where are you?

157
00:08:26,152 --> 00:08:28,780
Bad news. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

158
00:08:28,855 --> 00:08:30,379
You can't come? Are you okay?

159
00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:33,914
I'm fine. I'm just all the way downtown
with the Russian...

160
00:08:33,993 --> 00:08:35,893
and it's very cold out.

161
00:08:36,262 --> 00:08:38,662
She's still downtown, and it's too cold.

162
00:08:39,032 --> 00:08:43,025
We haven't seen you in forever,
and I have news.

163
00:08:43,236 --> 00:08:47,195
Elizabeth Taylor
is going to be in a dog show.

164
00:08:49,309 --> 00:08:51,470
My Elizabeth Taylor.

165
00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:53,470
Congratulations.

166
00:08:54,113 --> 00:08:57,776
And Miranda really wants to talk to you,
and Smith is gay.

167
00:08:58,284 --> 00:08:59,876
What do you mean, you're not coming?

168
00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:00,977
Smith is gay?

169
00:09:01,054 --> 00:09:03,750
Don't change the subject.
I came all the way from Brooklyn.

170
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:07,452
Who are you kidding?
You'd use any excuse to come in the city.

171
00:09:07,527 --> 00:09:09,688
You owe me a trip to Brooklyn.

172
00:09:10,496 --> 00:09:11,485
Carrie.

173
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:15,000
We're fine, everything's fine.
Smith is not gay.

174
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:18,868
It's too cold to leave the house.
You stay downtown with your hot man.

175
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:20,030
Okay.

176
00:09:28,915 --> 00:09:33,079
Which is exactly what I did
for the next four days.

177
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,424
With my column tragically overdue...

178
00:09:43,496 --> 00:09:46,158
I finally left the Russian's warm apartment.

179
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,499
Good God.

180
00:09:50,503 --> 00:09:52,733
And came home to the tropics.

181
00:09:57,010 --> 00:10:00,411
When you've been spending
all your time in your new world...

182
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,917
it's easy to forget that there might be people
trying to reach you from your old world.

183
00:10:04,984 --> 00:10:06,918
Hey, kid. How's it going?

184
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,949
We just put our new cabernet to bed.
Made me think of you.

185
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,589
Give me a call.

186
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:16,058
Saturday, 10.'00 p.m.

187
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:18,921
Playing hard to get, huh?

188
00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:21,959
Called your cell,
but I think I copied the number wrong.

189
00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:24,333
Unless you're a ticked-off guy named Paco.

190
00:10:24,871 --> 00:10:27,271
Hey, I want to talk to you. Call me.

191
00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:29,770
Monday, 2.'00 p.m.

192
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:31,941
Carrie.

193
00:10:32,011 --> 00:10:33,979
It's me. Again.

194
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:38,016
Listen, did I do something to tick you off?

195
00:10:38,518 --> 00:10:42,010
If I did, call me and I'll apologize, okay?

196
00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:44,615
Okay.

197
00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:47,322
Wednesday, 8.'00 p.m.

198
00:10:50,229 --> 00:10:51,457
Deleted.

199
00:10:56,102 --> 00:10:57,569
I deleted Big.

200
00:10:57,637 --> 00:10:59,264
- You deleted Big?
- Yep.

201
00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:01,630
Did you call him
to tell him you deleted him?

202
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:04,302
- Nope.
- That's new.

203
00:11:04,444 --> 00:11:07,345
Delete, delete, delete.
Three messages last week.

204
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:10,041
- What do you think he was calling about?
- Don't know.

205
00:11:10,116 --> 00:11:13,051
And for the first time, don't really care.

206
00:11:13,319 --> 00:11:17,016
After his last trip, I finally got it.
What's the point?

207
00:11:18,725 --> 00:11:20,955
Things are serious with the Russian.

208
00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:23,262
Really? That's great.

209
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:26,555
It's just so different and so...

210
00:11:26,866 --> 00:11:27,958
What?

211
00:11:29,235 --> 00:11:30,463
Grown-up.

212
00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:31,594
There's not a lot of fuss.

213
00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:34,572
There's no confusion about
how he feels about me.

214
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,540
He tells me all the time.

215
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:38,907
Unlike answering machine up there in Napa.

216
00:11:38,978 --> 00:11:40,946
- Sounds perfect.
- Yeah.

217
00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:43,911
- There's just one thing.
- Thank God.

218
00:11:43,983 --> 00:11:47,384
I was beginning to feel bad
about Steve and me. What's the thing?

219
00:11:49,455 --> 00:11:53,152
We don't really have anything in common
but each other.

220
00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:56,718
We're not really involved
in each others' lives.

221
00:11:57,196 --> 00:11:59,630
He never shares anything about his work.

222
00:11:59,699 --> 00:12:02,429
- I don't talk to Steve about my work.
- And he doesn't mind?

223
00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:05,960
- I think he prefers it that way.
- But you guys share everything else.

224
00:12:06,039 --> 00:12:08,906
Because we're in Brooklyn.
There's no one else to talk to.

225
00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:12,740
Besides, Carrie, every couple's different.

226
00:12:13,179 --> 00:12:17,912
Yeah, I guess I just had this idea
about a couple sharing everything.

227
00:12:18,284 --> 00:12:19,945
At least their passions.

228
00:12:20,019 --> 00:12:22,317
You want passions on top of passion?

229
00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,292
Carrie, welcome back.

230
00:12:28,361 --> 00:12:30,192
You see the new walls? Nice progress, huh?

231
00:12:30,263 --> 00:12:33,960
- I'll say! It's really coming together.
- What's all that?

232
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:36,797
I stopped off and picked up
some dessert for you ladies.

233
00:12:36,869 --> 00:12:40,896
Brooklyn's finest. Cheesecake and cannolis.

234
00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:43,072
What a delightful borough.

235
00:12:43,142 --> 00:12:45,770
I'll put this stuff out in the kitchen.

236
00:12:46,913 --> 00:12:49,006
I love having your friends over.

237
00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:54,984
I want you to meet him. My Russian.

238
00:12:55,354 --> 00:12:56,685
Can't wait.

239
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,655
That log is really heating up the joint, huh?

240
00:13:05,164 --> 00:13:06,597
Good morning.

241
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,258
All night again?

242
00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:10,559
How's the work going?

243
00:13:11,003 --> 00:13:12,470
It was clear from his silence...

244
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:15,632
we weren't having
passions on top of passions for breakfast.

245
00:13:16,476 --> 00:13:17,909
What are you doing Sunday night?

246
00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:19,535
I have no idea. Why?

247
00:13:19,612 --> 00:13:24,015
I was thinking, since I met
some of your friends the other day...

248
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:26,342
maybe you could meet some of my friends.

249
00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:29,320
Those people were my colleagues,
not my friends.

250
00:13:29,388 --> 00:13:31,219
My friends are mostly in Europe.

251
00:13:31,290 --> 00:13:34,259
My friends are here, and they are fantastic.

252
00:13:34,527 --> 00:13:37,428
Then on Sunday,
I'll be happy to meet your fantastic friends.

253
00:13:37,497 --> 00:13:38,828
Goody.

254
00:13:39,098 --> 00:13:42,932
And FYI, you have a friend in New York. Me.

255
00:13:43,169 --> 00:13:45,399
You're not my friend, you are my lover...

256
00:13:45,471 --> 00:13:47,905
and that is a much better thing.

257
00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:54,577
- Come to bed.
- No.

258
00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:58,549
I have to go home. I have to write
my column. I can't turn it in late again.

259
00:13:58,618 --> 00:14:01,348
- Work here.
- I can't. My computer's at home.

260
00:14:01,721 --> 00:14:04,519
I have computer,
very good for writing columns.

261
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:08,556
You would let me use
your fancy computer?

262
00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:13,255
In exchange for one hour in bed.

263
00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:17,826
Okay.

264
00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:24,970
They say that opposites attract,
but they never say for how long.

265
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:27,041
Should the relationship-savvy person...

266
00:14:27,113 --> 00:14:30,674
stoke the fires of passion
with the kindling of work and friends?

267
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:34,379
Or should we simply be satisfied
with the romance that sizzles?

268
00:14:34,987 --> 00:14:36,579
I couldn't help but wonder.

269
00:14:36,656 --> 00:14:38,681
Without sharing your worlds...

270
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:41,693
can even the hottest relationship stop cold?

271
00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:54,072
Meanwhile, Samantha was about to hear
the hottest rumor...

272
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:58,008
from the city's hottest rumor mill,
two young PR girls.

273
00:14:58,077 --> 00:15:01,069
Did you see that picture
of Smith Jerrod online?

274
00:15:01,147 --> 00:15:02,409
I can't believe he's gay.

275
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:04,642
No one that good-looking is ever straight.

276
00:15:04,717 --> 00:15:06,548
I thought he was dating Samantha Jones.

277
00:15:06,619 --> 00:15:09,952
All this time, I thought
she had the hottest sex life in New York city.

278
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:12,047
It turns out she's just a fag hag.

279
00:15:12,124 --> 00:15:15,059
And that stopped Samantha cold.

280
00:15:15,628 --> 00:15:18,927
And here comes the hound group.
This is a beautiful group.

281
00:15:19,165 --> 00:15:22,532
There's the Pharaoh Hound champion,
Eleanor Pendragon...

282
00:15:22,602 --> 00:15:24,763
four-time best-in-show winner.

283
00:15:24,837 --> 00:15:26,668
Take a look at that outfit.

284
00:15:27,073 --> 00:15:29,007
Everyone is talking about me.

285
00:15:29,075 --> 00:15:32,408
In the blink of a tabloid,
I went from Demi to Liza.

286
00:15:32,478 --> 00:15:34,343
At least people know who you are.

287
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,904
"Unidentified older gay gentleman."

288
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:41,144
Marcus got three auditions off that picture.
I got outed.

289
00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:43,288
Poor Stanny.

290
00:15:43,556 --> 00:15:46,252
How can they just assume I'm gay?

291
00:15:48,227 --> 00:15:52,687
I've got $10 on Lord Reginald IV
down there. Any takers?

292
00:15:52,765 --> 00:15:55,256
You are a good friend.
All the way from Brooklyn...

293
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,029
to see a bunch of dogs run in a circle.

294
00:15:57,103 --> 00:16:00,698
She came to watch my baby get baptized.
I came to watch her baby get judged.

295
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:03,207
I almost didn't show my face. "Fag hag."

296
00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:06,507
There go years and years
of fucking everything that walks.

297
00:16:06,779 --> 00:16:09,043
I thought
you weren't gonna sweat the small stuff.

298
00:16:09,115 --> 00:16:11,549
I can't have cancer and be a fag hag.

299
00:16:11,617 --> 00:16:14,313
You guys wanna have drinks
with the Russian tomorrow night?

300
00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:15,376
- Sure.
- I'm in.

301
00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:16,478
Me, too.

302
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:19,149
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
It's just the girls this time.

303
00:16:19,225 --> 00:16:22,922
What am I now,
your unidentified older gay friend?

304
00:16:22,995 --> 00:16:24,690
You'll be in the next round, I promise.

305
00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:27,289
I gotta go backstage
and check on the little mother.

306
00:16:27,366 --> 00:16:31,234
Take your time. We've still got
Sporting and Working and Toy.

307
00:16:35,608 --> 00:16:38,509
This was not the type of blow job
I was hoping for today.

308
00:16:38,844 --> 00:16:42,905
She looks so pretty. Yes, she does.

309
00:16:43,149 --> 00:16:45,344
Did you see how impressed
the host committee was?

310
00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:46,851
I really think she has a chance.

311
00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:48,910
You think with all these faggy little dogs...

312
00:16:48,988 --> 00:16:51,684
there'd be at least
one horny circuit muscle gay here.

313
00:16:51,757 --> 00:16:55,659
No, nothing but boxy, thick-legged ladies
and tweedy old queens.

314
00:16:58,130 --> 00:17:01,588
Did you cut yourself with the scissors?
There are drops of blood here.

315
00:17:02,768 --> 00:17:05,362
Wait, it's coming from her.

316
00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:07,531
No, don't tell me...

317
00:17:08,841 --> 00:17:10,103
She's in heat.

318
00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:11,666
Hey, how's it...

319
00:17:12,845 --> 00:17:15,507
- What's wrong?
- The frigging dog just got her period.

320
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:17,378
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.

321
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,509
Aunt Flo's in doggy town. Show over.

322
00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:21,849
Don't say that. We can still compete.

323
00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:25,049
I once won a junior gymnastics meet
when I had mine.

324
00:17:25,124 --> 00:17:26,853
It's a dog.

325
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:30,123
What're you gonna do? Run around
looking for a teeny tiny tampon?

326
00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,463
You're right. It's not funny.

327
00:17:36,535 --> 00:17:38,503
I'm a woman. I should know better.

328
00:17:44,510 --> 00:17:47,377
Trouble.
Elizabeth Taylor just got her period.

329
00:17:47,446 --> 00:17:49,346
- What?
- Backstage.

330
00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:50,712
That time of the month.

331
00:17:50,783 --> 00:17:52,614
I thought she looked a little bloated.

332
00:17:52,685 --> 00:17:55,017
And she was so bitchy earlier.

333
00:17:56,055 --> 00:17:58,489
And here come the toy dogs.

334
00:17:58,557 --> 00:18:01,458
Many viewers don't realize
that these little dogs...

335
00:18:01,527 --> 00:18:05,691
can actually be a lot harder to care for
than dogs 10 times their size.

336
00:18:31,524 --> 00:18:33,151
The judge has narrowed it down to...

337
00:18:33,225 --> 00:18:36,160
the Toy Poodle, champion Diamond Keiko...

338
00:18:36,228 --> 00:18:39,026
the Shih Tzu, champion Yurisaki...

339
00:18:39,098 --> 00:18:42,329
the Pomeranian,
champion Justy Greystoke...

340
00:18:42,401 --> 00:18:45,495
and the King Charles Spaniel,
Elizabeth Taylor.

341
00:18:45,971 --> 00:18:48,303
Come on, Elizabeth Taylor!

342
00:18:57,716 --> 00:19:00,446
Charlotte was a dog show natural...

343
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:03,215
thanks to her blue blood background.

344
00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:05,857
Let me see the move.

345
00:19:06,325 --> 00:19:08,293
And speaking of blood...

346
00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:19,735
The judge is examining the dog's gait
one more time before he makes his decision.

347
00:19:21,507 --> 00:19:22,565
One.

348
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:26,105
It's the King Charles Spaniel...

349
00:19:26,178 --> 00:19:29,579
followed by the Shih Tzu, the Pomeranian...

350
00:19:29,648 --> 00:19:31,081
That's my friend.

351
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:34,008
All the dogs were champions.

352
00:19:34,086 --> 00:19:37,954
But to the judge,
Charlotte was the best in show.

353
00:19:38,457 --> 00:19:39,685
Period.

354
00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:44,762
Samantha Jones. I thought that was you.

355
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:47,094
Tom, what are you doing here?

356
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:49,134
I handle the press for this tacky thing.

357
00:19:49,702 --> 00:19:52,569
Listen, could I get Smith Jerrod's number?

358
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:54,233
Tom, no.

359
00:19:54,573 --> 00:19:56,200
I'm fucking him.

360
00:19:56,809 --> 00:19:58,276
Sure you are.

361
00:20:02,381 --> 00:20:05,748
I'm a laughingstock.
I have got to put a stop to this.

362
00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:08,517
And from dog show to doggy show...

363
00:20:08,587 --> 00:20:10,020
Are you sure you want to do this?

364
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:14,253
It worked for Paris Hilton.
I need to set the record straight, literally.

365
00:20:14,326 --> 00:20:16,692
But I don't care if people think I'm gay.

366
00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:20,594
This isn't about you.

367
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,627
Now, when we get going, make sure to say:

368
00:20:23,702 --> 00:20:26,728
"Samantha Jones,
you are one hot piece of ass.

369
00:20:26,805 --> 00:20:29,831
"I could fuck you all night long,
Samantha Jones."

370
00:20:31,343 --> 00:20:32,970
How are you gonna get this around?

371
00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:34,512
I'm a PR pro.

372
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:38,175
I know exactly
whose hands to drop this into.

373
00:20:38,884 --> 00:20:41,318
The very next day, two PR girls...

374
00:20:41,387 --> 00:20:43,947
got an anonymous XXX from FedEx.

375
00:20:44,690 --> 00:20:45,987
Go get it.

376
00:20:49,461 --> 00:20:52,794
You have to come next time.
She was so happy.

377
00:20:52,965 --> 00:20:56,162
You know what would make her happy?
Letting her off that show leash.

378
00:20:56,235 --> 00:20:59,466
No, I don't think so. What if she gets hurt?

379
00:20:59,538 --> 00:21:02,974
Come on, honey.
Give her a little victory lap on her own.

380
00:21:04,043 --> 00:21:05,442
You're right.

381
00:21:05,744 --> 00:21:08,907
Okay, Elizabeth. Go play.

382
00:21:17,323 --> 00:21:18,984
Look.

383
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:22,727
She made a little friend. Isn't that sweet?

384
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,158
No.

385
00:21:30,069 --> 00:21:31,730
Stop that!

386
00:21:31,971 --> 00:21:35,099
She's a blue ribbon winner. Stop it!

387
00:21:35,174 --> 00:21:38,234
Honey, go! Do something! Harry!

388
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:39,607
Hurry!

389
00:21:40,746 --> 00:21:41,872
Stay away.

390
00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:46,413
Get them off! Get off of Elizabeth Taylor!

391
00:21:46,685 --> 00:21:48,812
There are more coming, honey!

392
00:21:50,656 --> 00:21:52,487
Watch out for the big one!

393
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,124
Elizabeth Taylor got
gang-banged in the park?

394
00:21:57,196 --> 00:21:58,993
God, that's so '80s.

395
00:21:59,064 --> 00:22:03,023
There we were at Asia de Cuba,
waiting for my lover de Russia.

396
00:22:05,537 --> 00:22:07,334
Hi, where are you?

397
00:22:07,406 --> 00:22:10,136
Seriously, I could not believe
how many dogs she was with.

398
00:22:10,209 --> 00:22:12,677
It was disgusting. My sweet little girl.

399
00:22:12,745 --> 00:22:14,610
I think she's a woman now.

400
00:22:16,215 --> 00:22:17,614
Really?

401
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:20,041
No, I understand.

402
00:22:21,654 --> 00:22:23,087
Okay, I will.

403
00:22:23,389 --> 00:22:24,481
Okay.

404
00:22:26,158 --> 00:22:27,625
He's not gonna make it.

405
00:22:27,693 --> 00:22:30,059
- That's too bad.
- Is he okay?

406
00:22:30,129 --> 00:22:33,997
No, he's just in the middle of something
at his studio. He can't stop right now.

407
00:22:34,066 --> 00:22:37,035
I understand. If he's feeling inspired,
then he shouldn't stop.

408
00:22:37,102 --> 00:22:40,594
He's getting ready for this big exhibit
at some Paris museum.

409
00:22:40,673 --> 00:22:42,231
He's been staying up nights.

410
00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:45,641
I'm disappointed.
I wanted you guys to meet him.

411
00:22:45,711 --> 00:22:47,042
Another time.

412
00:22:48,147 --> 00:22:50,980
Compliments of a Mr. Petrovsky
with sincere apologies.

413
00:22:54,553 --> 00:22:56,453
Why don't we finish these off...

414
00:22:56,522 --> 00:22:59,320
crack this open, give him time,
then go there and say hello?

415
00:22:59,391 --> 00:23:01,291
Honey, are you sure
you want to disturb him?

416
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:02,759
Yeah, we'll just go say hi.

417
00:23:02,828 --> 00:23:05,262
He's always telling me
to be more spontaneous.

418
00:23:07,099 --> 00:23:10,535
A couple of cocktails
and a bottle of champagne later...

419
00:23:12,705 --> 00:23:14,900
Eighth floor, lingerie.

420
00:23:16,675 --> 00:23:19,166
Apartment. Studio.

421
00:23:19,578 --> 00:23:22,342
He has the whole floor.

422
00:23:24,349 --> 00:23:28,376
Wait a minute. Sister's gotta get ready.

423
00:23:32,324 --> 00:23:34,019
Hello?

424
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,224
Hi.

425
00:23:44,203 --> 00:23:47,502
- What are you doing?
- I'm being spontaneous.

426
00:23:47,573 --> 00:23:48,870
I told you I was working.

427
00:23:48,941 --> 00:23:52,308
I know, but I just wanted
my friends to meet you.

428
00:23:52,377 --> 00:23:54,140
Charlotte you've met.

429
00:23:54,213 --> 00:23:58,912
This is Miranda,
and Samantha, a.k.a. Foxy Brown.

430
00:23:58,984 --> 00:24:00,781
- Hello.
- Hello.

431
00:24:02,855 --> 00:24:05,380
And I wanted them to see the house.

432
00:24:05,591 --> 00:24:07,991
When I say I am working, I'm working, okay?

433
00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:10,551
I'm sorry, guys. I'm very busy.

434
00:24:10,929 --> 00:24:13,693
But please do stay. Enjoy the apartment.

435
00:24:13,966 --> 00:24:16,434
We'll meet one day, all right? Sorry.

436
00:24:23,575 --> 00:24:26,135
I'm sorry, I thought...

437
00:24:26,211 --> 00:24:28,042
- It's fine.
- He's working.

438
00:24:28,113 --> 00:24:31,105
Do you guys
still want to see the apartment?

439
00:24:32,551 --> 00:24:33,711
It's late.

440
00:24:33,786 --> 00:24:37,119
I should get back to Brooklyn,
before Steve thinks I've defected.

441
00:24:37,189 --> 00:24:40,158
Another time.
Foxy is ready to hang up her wig.

442
00:24:41,059 --> 00:24:43,584
Do you want to come
share a cab with me uptown?

443
00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:48,090
No, I think I'm gonna stay.

444
00:24:48,634 --> 00:24:50,659
- Okay.
- Okay, sleep tight.

445
00:24:50,736 --> 00:24:51,896
Bye.

446
00:25:07,586 --> 00:25:10,180
I am so glad to be home.

447
00:25:10,255 --> 00:25:11,517
You are?

448
00:25:13,292 --> 00:25:15,453
I love you for loving my friends.

449
00:25:16,628 --> 00:25:18,721
And I love you for new walls...

450
00:25:18,831 --> 00:25:22,130
and cheesecake, cannoli.

451
00:25:25,237 --> 00:25:29,537
If you love me for that stuff,
what's gonna happen now?

452
00:25:31,043 --> 00:25:33,477
I put in your DSL line.

453
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,211
Steve.

454
00:25:50,262 --> 00:25:55,029
And although Steve had satisfied Miranda,
she still wanted more.

455
00:26:07,813 --> 00:26:10,077
Samantha Jones,
you are one hot piece of ass.

456
00:26:10,148 --> 00:26:11,137
Yes!

457
00:26:11,216 --> 00:26:14,117
I could fuck you all night long,
Samantha Jones.

458
00:26:16,088 --> 00:26:20,752
Samantha's hot tape
cooled Miranda's love of gossip for good.

459
00:26:22,594 --> 00:26:24,357
Or at least for now.

460
00:26:25,631 --> 00:26:27,030
And try as I might...

461
00:26:27,099 --> 00:26:31,229
I could not forget
the Russian's icy treatment of my friends.

462
00:26:37,976 --> 00:26:39,568
I need to talk to you.

463
00:26:43,782 --> 00:26:46,774
I know that you're busy,
but those were my...

464
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:50,110
Is something...

465
00:26:50,822 --> 00:26:52,289
Are you okay?

466
00:26:54,393 --> 00:26:55,917
Yeah, I'm fine.

467
00:27:04,036 --> 00:27:05,833
No, you are not fine.

468
00:27:08,507 --> 00:27:11,067
Did something happen with...

469
00:27:12,144 --> 00:27:13,509
the piece?

470
00:27:15,047 --> 00:27:16,810
Come on, talk to me.

471
00:27:21,086 --> 00:27:23,714
What if it's not enough?

472
00:27:24,790 --> 00:27:26,451
All these pieces.

473
00:27:27,592 --> 00:27:28,923
Six years.

474
00:27:29,161 --> 00:27:31,061
It's going to be enough.

475
00:27:31,530 --> 00:27:35,159
It's true,
I don't know anything about the piece.

476
00:27:38,804 --> 00:27:40,635
But you are brilliant.

477
00:27:42,774 --> 00:27:46,141
"The world is waiting
with breath that is bated."

478
00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:51,416
She's just an uptight bitch.

479
00:27:52,951 --> 00:27:55,681
That's better. You were a little scary.

480
00:27:58,623 --> 00:28:00,557
So talk to me. What's the problem?

481
00:28:00,625 --> 00:28:04,186
I may not understand, but I'll listen.

482
00:28:11,403 --> 00:28:13,871
Yesterday, I looked up...

483
00:28:14,406 --> 00:28:17,898
and the entire thing looked so...

484
00:28:18,610 --> 00:28:22,239
utterly stupid and flat and needless...

485
00:28:23,081 --> 00:28:24,241
and childish.

486
00:28:24,316 --> 00:28:26,284
It's a cold hard fact.

487
00:28:26,885 --> 00:28:31,652
Sometimes, there's not enough time
in a night for both your worlds.

488
00:29:16,000 --> 00:30:00,000
Ripped by RavyDavy
part of the [RL] Crew