0
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew

1
00:00:47,294 --> 00:00:49,262
I'd been dating the Russian
for two months...

2
00:00:49,329 --> 00:00:52,423
when we hit a relationship benchmark
so rare...

3
00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:55,100
I didn't even know it existed.

4
00:00:55,969 --> 00:00:58,403
He gave me his alarm code.

5
00:00:58,505 --> 00:01:00,336
And I had keys made.

6
00:01:05,545 --> 00:01:07,604
You made me a set of keys?

7
00:01:07,714 --> 00:01:09,841
I had my assistant go to a locksmith...

8
00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,884
but, yes, keys were made.

9
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,883
Okay, what's the code?

10
00:01:16,356 --> 00:01:18,290
It's four...

11
00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:20,854
seven...

12
00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:24,057
three...

13
00:01:27,901 --> 00:01:28,993
five?

14
00:01:30,937 --> 00:01:32,871
I will write it down for you.

15
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,904
It was a kind of security
I'd never experienced...

16
00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:37,603
in a relationship.

17
00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:41,710
His alarm code. Like it was nothing.

18
00:01:42,616 --> 00:01:46,143
- Do you really want to hear about this now?
- Yes, I need the distraction.

19
00:01:46,219 --> 00:01:48,084
Samantha was feeling less secure...

20
00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:50,521
as we waited for the results
of her lumpectomy.

21
00:01:50,590 --> 00:01:54,856
It's going to be fine, sweetie.
They got it out, it's going to be fine.

22
00:01:55,362 --> 00:01:56,693
I know.

23
00:01:57,397 --> 00:01:59,422
So, Petrovsky...

24
00:02:01,234 --> 00:02:02,565
It was just so easy.

25
00:02:02,636 --> 00:02:05,161
Big made me beg for a key
in front of his doorman...

26
00:02:05,238 --> 00:02:06,899
whereas the Russian...

27
00:02:06,973 --> 00:02:09,908
has just welcomed me
into his life and apartment.

28
00:02:10,177 --> 00:02:13,237
Did I mention the extra robe
in the bathroom?

29
00:02:13,313 --> 00:02:16,749
- Is it as nice as this one?
- Even nicer, if you can believe it.

30
00:02:21,121 --> 00:02:23,385
- Hello, I'm Dr. Pinkner.
- How do you do?

31
00:02:23,457 --> 00:02:25,857
- Her friend, Carrie.
- Hello, Doctor.

32
00:02:25,926 --> 00:02:27,553
Samantha, I have good news.

33
00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:30,858
The lumpectomy went very well,
all your scans look clean...

34
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,990
and I'd classify you as stage one.

35
00:02:33,066 --> 00:02:35,364
- And one is...
- The best, right?

36
00:02:35,435 --> 00:02:37,300
One is pretty much the best.

37
00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:43,037
You're healing nicely.

38
00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:45,438
Because of the nature of your tumor...

39
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:48,003
I would still recommend a course of chemo.

40
00:02:48,081 --> 00:02:51,414
- I still have to have...
- Chemotherapy. As a precaution.

41
00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:56,045
I don't understand
how this happened to me.

42
00:02:56,122 --> 00:02:59,489
It could be genetics. Since there's
no breast cancer in your family...

43
00:02:59,559 --> 00:03:02,926
it could be a variety of factors:
Diet, lifestyle choices...

44
00:03:02,996 --> 00:03:04,361
Lifestyle choices?

45
00:03:04,431 --> 00:03:07,093
Some studies have shown
women who haven't had children...

46
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,294
have an increased chance of getting it.

47
00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:10,863
I see.

48
00:03:11,037 --> 00:03:13,096
So I brought this on myself.

49
00:03:13,173 --> 00:03:16,165
- I'm just giving you the basic...
- I think we're done here.

50
00:03:16,343 --> 00:03:17,935
Maybe I wasn't clear...

51
00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:20,639
Give me my chart.
I'm going to find a woman doctor...

52
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:24,514
some hot woman doctor
who understands what this is all about.

53
00:03:24,584 --> 00:03:28,680
- I meant statistically...
- You're lucky to have touched my breasts.

54
00:03:30,123 --> 00:03:32,250
Carrie, my purse.

55
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:37,494
It was hard to be huffy in a cloth robe,
but Samantha pulled it off.

56
00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:39,958
All right then, good to meet you.

57
00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:44,896
Like it's my fault.
I shouldn't be punished for not having kids.

58
00:03:44,971 --> 00:03:46,233
I should be rewarded.

59
00:03:46,306 --> 00:03:49,400
Since when did kids
become the get-out-of-cancer-free card?

60
00:03:49,476 --> 00:03:52,639
He's basically saying
I'm a whore who deserves chemo.

61
00:03:52,712 --> 00:03:55,010
I don't think that's what he was saying.

62
00:03:55,081 --> 00:03:57,641
What I don't understand is,
if they got it all...

63
00:03:57,717 --> 00:03:59,014
why do you need chemo?

64
00:03:59,085 --> 00:04:00,245
Because he's an asshole.

65
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,880
- There can be something microscopic...
- Like his dick?

66
00:04:02,956 --> 00:04:05,049
Do you have cancer or Tourette's?

67
00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,787
- I'm getting a new doctor. A woman.
- I think you should.

68
00:04:07,861 --> 00:04:11,353
- I've heard great things about a Dr. Mc...
- Andrew. I'm on it.

69
00:04:11,431 --> 00:04:14,628
Top-rated oncologist by New York magazine
four years running.

70
00:04:14,701 --> 00:04:16,225
I'm trying to get in.

71
00:04:16,703 --> 00:04:19,035
I'm sorry. I got to get back to the office.

72
00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:21,938
I'm taking a long weekend,
so I can't take a long lunch.

73
00:04:22,008 --> 00:04:24,067
You never take long weekends.

74
00:04:24,144 --> 00:04:25,805
Steve wanted to go on a little trip...

75
00:04:25,879 --> 00:04:28,643
so we're driving up
to some mountain lodge tomorrow.

76
00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:30,482
It's supposed to be nice.

77
00:04:30,951 --> 00:04:32,714
Slow down there, missus.

78
00:04:32,786 --> 00:04:36,381
Is this "little trip" your honeymoon?

79
00:04:36,523 --> 00:04:38,354
No, it's just a...

80
00:04:39,593 --> 00:04:43,495
- Whatever.
- And yet you just got married last week.

81
00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,030
That's interesting.

82
00:04:45,098 --> 00:04:46,793
It's your honeymoon.

83
00:04:46,866 --> 00:04:47,958
Here we go.

84
00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:50,229
- Who's taking care of Brady?
- We're bringing him.

85
00:04:50,303 --> 00:04:52,897
It's not a real honeymoon if Brady's there.

86
00:04:52,973 --> 00:04:54,338
Then it's a "whatever."

87
00:04:54,407 --> 00:04:58,036
What have you got against honeymoons?
It's basically sex with room service.

88
00:04:58,111 --> 00:05:00,545
You have to have a real honeymoon.

89
00:05:00,614 --> 00:05:03,082
- It's very important.
- To whom?

90
00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:06,175
I'm with Star of David on this one.
Leave Brady with Magda.

91
00:05:06,252 --> 00:05:08,880
It's four days,
I've already given her the time off.

92
00:05:09,489 --> 00:05:13,220
She's made plans.
She's going to nannypalooza or something.

93
00:05:13,693 --> 00:05:16,287
I'll take him. I'd love to take him.
He's adorable.

94
00:05:16,363 --> 00:05:19,526
It's four days.
Adorable stops after a day and a half.

95
00:05:19,599 --> 00:05:22,124
I could take care of him part of the time.

96
00:05:22,502 --> 00:05:24,902
I'm his godmother, it's the least I can do.

97
00:05:24,971 --> 00:05:27,303
I can handle him for a couple of days.

98
00:05:27,374 --> 00:05:29,365
I saw that.

99
00:05:30,543 --> 00:05:32,101
You guys would really do that?

100
00:05:32,178 --> 00:05:34,009
- Absolutely.
- With pleasure.

101
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,206
I wouldn't.

102
00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:37,249
Because Smith is coming back into town...

103
00:05:37,317 --> 00:05:39,717
and I've always chosen sex over babies.

104
00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:41,651
And that's apparently why I got cancer.

105
00:05:43,256 --> 00:05:46,555
The next day, I tried on two labels.'

106
00:05:46,726 --> 00:05:49,559
Classic Vuitton and New Mommy.

107
00:05:58,772 --> 00:06:01,741
We're going to go in the carriage
and we're going to see the...

108
00:06:01,808 --> 00:06:03,469
My phone's ringing.

109
00:06:03,643 --> 00:06:05,634
Stay here, hold on.

110
00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:10,415
- Yeah, hello?
- How's it going?

111
00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:14,078
I was just mistaken for a mother
by a mother.

112
00:06:14,187 --> 00:06:15,449
So he's okay?

113
00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:18,616
Yes, Brady and I are having a lovely time.

114
00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:21,820
We are going to spend the afternoon
at the Hotel Petrovsky.

115
00:06:21,895 --> 00:06:23,362
Is he a baby person?

116
00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:26,763
When I told him I had Brady for the day,
he said to bring him over.

117
00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:30,530
But is it safe? Are there stairs?
What about sharp edges?

118
00:06:30,770 --> 00:06:33,830
It's a deathtrap.
We're gonna strap a pillow around the kid...

119
00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:35,374
and hope for the best.

120
00:06:35,675 --> 00:06:39,076
And further downtown,
Samantha was in hot pursuit...

121
00:06:39,145 --> 00:06:40,942
of the hot woman doctor.

122
00:06:41,114 --> 00:06:43,810
Hi. I'm Samantha Jones.

123
00:06:43,883 --> 00:06:46,716
We've spoken on the phone several times.

124
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,982
- Please stay behind the partition.
- Sorry.

125
00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:52,684
I know that you said
Dr. McAndrew was booked...

126
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:56,195
but I was referred here
by Dr. Ward and Dr. Popham...

127
00:06:56,262 --> 00:06:59,390
who both attended
the Paint for the Cure benefit I threw.

128
00:06:59,466 --> 00:07:02,094
I'm sorry,
the doctor is booked through March.

129
00:07:02,168 --> 00:07:06,002
My good friend Susan Schaffer,
who threw the Dance for the Cure benefit...

130
00:07:06,072 --> 00:07:08,836
said that sometimes Dr. McAndrew
can squeeze you in...

131
00:07:08,908 --> 00:07:10,637
- if you just show up.
- March.

132
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:12,940
Who do you have to fuck
to get chemo around here?

133
00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,378
- Excuse me?
- I'm sorry, I'm upset.

134
00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:17,542
I'm dealing with cancer.

135
00:07:17,617 --> 00:07:20,085
All of New York is dealing with cancer...

136
00:07:20,153 --> 00:07:23,748
not to mention some very pushy people
in Los Angeles and Miami.

137
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:27,391
Fine, I'll just take a seat
and hope for an opening.

138
00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:31,055
- The doctor has no openings till March.
- You already said that.

139
00:07:38,438 --> 00:07:40,497
I've been here since 9:00 a. M...

140
00:07:40,573 --> 00:07:44,236
so if anyone's going to get in
without an appointment, it's me.

141
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:47,336
Loud and clear.
Don't you worry about me, I'll get in.

142
00:07:47,514 --> 00:07:50,813
I've been waiting for two days,
and so far no one has gotten in yet.

143
00:07:51,518 --> 00:07:55,921
I was once told I wouldn't be able
to get backstage to see Mick Jagger.

144
00:07:55,989 --> 00:07:59,220
Well, I did get backstage. And I blew him.

145
00:08:04,531 --> 00:08:05,793
Excuse me...

146
00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:09,091
I don't know if this is an appropriate
question to ask.

147
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:11,967
I think we passed appropriate
a few second ago.

148
00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:15,003
What kind of cancer do you have?

149
00:08:15,074 --> 00:08:17,201
- Breast.
- Me, too.

150
00:08:17,544 --> 00:08:20,775
- I'm curious. Do you have children?
- I'm a nun.

151
00:08:20,847 --> 00:08:24,510
- You have none?
- No, I am a nun.

152
00:08:25,051 --> 00:08:28,316
But that doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy your Mick Jagger story.

153
00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:32,085
- I thought that nuns had to wear...
- I haven't worn a habit in years.

154
00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:33,489
So then...

155
00:08:34,127 --> 00:08:35,890
you don't have sex.

156
00:08:36,596 --> 00:08:38,928
- No.
- Never had sex.

157
00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:40,457
No.

158
00:08:44,537 --> 00:08:47,267
- Just one more.
- Go right ahead.

159
00:08:47,507 --> 00:08:49,771
Are you allowed to masturbate?

160
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:51,700
I never asked.

161
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:56,115
But thanks for getting my mind off cancer
for the first time in a week.

162
00:08:57,016 --> 00:08:58,278
Happy to help.

163
00:08:58,785 --> 00:09:01,913
Samantha felt a little better
knowing that saints and sinners...

164
00:09:01,988 --> 00:09:05,947
despite their habits, get the same treatment
when it comes to cancer.

165
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:07,821
And so far...

166
00:09:07,994 --> 00:09:09,757
that was no treatment at all.

167
00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:11,894
We're here.

168
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,832
Come on in, Brady, I'll get you the candy.

169
00:09:15,869 --> 00:09:17,097
The alarm.

170
00:09:23,877 --> 00:09:25,936
Oh, my gosh, okay.

171
00:09:27,146 --> 00:09:29,171
Four, seven, what?

172
00:09:29,382 --> 00:09:30,713
Welcome.

173
00:09:30,884 --> 00:09:32,010
Hi.

174
00:09:36,356 --> 00:09:40,190
- Brady knocked the vase over.
- That's pathetic, blaming the baby.

175
00:09:42,228 --> 00:09:44,594
My other plan was just to leave...

176
00:09:44,664 --> 00:09:46,825
and pretend you'd been burgled.

177
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,528
Do you want the keys back right now?

178
00:09:50,703 --> 00:09:52,796
Noise? Yes, the alarm.

179
00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:56,170
She's clumsy, isn't she?

180
00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:01,311
Aleksandr holding a baby
was the most disarming thing of all.

181
00:10:03,883 --> 00:10:06,443
And upstate in Honeymoon Central...

182
00:10:08,454 --> 00:10:09,921
That was really great.

183
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:14,821
Now what?

184
00:10:15,295 --> 00:10:16,660
What do you mean?

185
00:10:17,096 --> 00:10:18,620
We relax.

186
00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:23,761
Should we go for a walk or something?

187
00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:26,703
No, let's just lay here, hang out.

188
00:10:26,839 --> 00:10:29,637
- How often do we get to do that?
- That's true.

189
00:10:32,645 --> 00:10:34,203
Should we get dressed?

190
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,340
I plan on being naked for the next four days.

191
00:10:43,456 --> 00:10:45,083
I'm gonna unpack.

192
00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:48,856
Knock yourself out.

193
00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:01,566
There's no TV or radio.

194
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:03,468
You okay with that, partner?

195
00:11:04,243 --> 00:11:05,403
I'm fine.

196
00:11:06,012 --> 00:11:10,005
But there is a CD player and a CD.

197
00:11:18,524 --> 00:11:20,685
"Sounds of Mohonk Mountain."

198
00:11:28,768 --> 00:11:29,894
Shit.

199
00:11:30,069 --> 00:11:32,629
- What's the matter?
- I forgot my cell phone charger.

200
00:11:32,705 --> 00:11:35,435
You won't need your cell phone.
It's just you and me.

201
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:39,775
As Miranda got a crash course
in life as a twosome...

202
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:43,510
I got a glimpse of life as a threesome.

203
00:11:44,384 --> 00:11:47,114
He's good. This is your best work yet.

204
00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:48,744
The guy's a genius.

205
00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:52,484
- Reminiscent of the early Basquiat.
- You're very good with him.

206
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:56,156
- You ever thought about having children?
- I have one.

207
00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:58,694
Many years ago.

208
00:11:59,799 --> 00:12:01,426
No more children.

209
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:03,896
Actually, I cannot, I've...

210
00:12:06,572 --> 00:12:09,302
Yeah, closed the factory.

211
00:12:10,009 --> 00:12:12,500
How about you?
You never wanted children?

212
00:12:14,313 --> 00:12:15,746
You know...

213
00:12:17,683 --> 00:12:19,548
I've always thought that I might.

214
00:12:19,619 --> 00:12:23,419
I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

215
00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:27,354
When were you planning to do this?
How old are you?

216
00:12:27,894 --> 00:12:29,191
Thirty-eight?

217
00:12:29,262 --> 00:12:32,356
I felt like I was just shot with a.38.

218
00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:40,128
The Russian doesn't want to have kids.
Had one a long time ago. He's done.

219
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:42,504
Then do svidaniya, or however you say it.

220
00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:45,373
What? For you, maybe, but not for me.

221
00:12:45,445 --> 00:12:47,913
- Don't you want to have the option?
- Yes.

222
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:51,347
But it is my experience that men like him
don't come along often.

223
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,977
But we're 38. These are the years.

224
00:12:54,053 --> 00:12:57,454
Yes, I know, I've heard.
I'm running out of time.

225
00:12:57,523 --> 00:13:00,219
- I don't even have time to eat this cookie.
- How is it?

226
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:02,659
It's so good I forgot to have children.

227
00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:07,188
Maybe he'll change his mind.

228
00:13:07,266 --> 00:13:09,257
No, I don't think so.

229
00:13:09,335 --> 00:13:12,099
- He had a vasectomy.
- Those are reversible.

230
00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:14,264
Is he willing to have it reversed?

231
00:13:14,574 --> 00:13:15,939
I can't ask him that.

232
00:13:16,008 --> 00:13:18,306
- I don't even know his birthday.
- Too bad.

233
00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:21,312
At our age you have to be able to talk
about having children...

234
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,870
if you think it might get serious.

235
00:13:22,949 --> 00:13:24,246
That attitude...

236
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:27,411
that awareness on the part of a woman
that time is ticking...

237
00:13:27,487 --> 00:13:29,387
is very sexy to a man.

238
00:13:29,455 --> 00:13:31,650
You can't be scared to have those talks.

239
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:32,816
Why not?

240
00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:36,885
It's a perfectly scary conversation.
I didn't want to have it with myself.

241
00:13:36,963 --> 00:13:38,760
- What does that mean?
- It means...

242
00:13:38,831 --> 00:13:42,858
if I really wanted to have a baby,
wouldn't I have tried to have one by now?

243
00:13:42,935 --> 00:13:45,335
I wanted to be a writer,
I made myself a writer.

244
00:13:45,404 --> 00:13:49,238
I want a ridiculously extravagant
pair of shoes...

245
00:13:49,308 --> 00:13:51,003
I find a way to buy them.

246
00:13:51,077 --> 00:13:52,704
But this is totally different.

247
00:13:52,778 --> 00:13:55,838
You have been waiting for the right man
and the right time.

248
00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:59,009
That's exactly the way it goes
in my head, too.

249
00:14:01,654 --> 00:14:03,485
Maybe I'm just not a baby person.

250
00:14:03,556 --> 00:14:06,821
Why should you give up having a baby
for a man you hardly know?

251
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:10,260
Why should I give up a man
for a baby I hardly know I want?

252
00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:12,926
I think you're a baby person.

253
00:14:12,999 --> 00:14:15,934
- You're a closeted baby person.
- What?

254
00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:19,463
You didn't want to leave Brady with me
for two days.

255
00:14:19,539 --> 00:14:21,530
Look at how well you did.

256
00:14:21,607 --> 00:14:22,699
Hi.

257
00:14:23,576 --> 00:14:26,443
I think you should definitely have a baby.

258
00:14:27,013 --> 00:14:28,139
Okay.

259
00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:31,510
So what did he have, a boy or a girl?

260
00:14:33,786 --> 00:14:35,686
I forgot to ask.

261
00:14:36,055 --> 00:14:38,649
See, a baby person would've asked.

262
00:14:39,425 --> 00:14:42,656
All right.
I should get home and do some work.

263
00:14:42,995 --> 00:14:47,056
Why don't you keep Brady
a little while longer? Till dinnertime at least.

264
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:50,534
You think I'll decide if I'm a baby person
in the next couple of hours?

265
00:14:50,603 --> 00:14:52,764
You still have a couple years.

266
00:15:05,284 --> 00:15:07,047
I'm starting to prune.

267
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:10,220
You know what would be romantic?

268
00:15:11,257 --> 00:15:14,249
We have a fire, a bubble bath...

269
00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:16,254
champagne.

270
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,727
What would be romantic?

271
00:15:20,399 --> 00:15:22,424
I want to wash your hair.

272
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:24,859
I washed it already.

273
00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:27,735
I know, but I want to wash it for you.
Like in...

274
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:29,999
Out of Africa.

275
00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:41,509
Hold the soap.

276
00:15:53,032 --> 00:15:55,125
What could be better than that?

277
00:15:57,236 --> 00:15:58,828
Hurt, soap in my eye!

278
00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:04,434
Hello?

279
00:16:04,510 --> 00:16:06,444
I'm having an anxiety attack.

280
00:16:06,512 --> 00:16:08,275
Brady is fine.

281
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:10,178
Good, but that's not why I'm calling.

282
00:16:10,249 --> 00:16:13,741
I'm in the woods in my negligee,
and my cell phone only has two bars left.

283
00:16:13,819 --> 00:16:15,286
- Help.
- Are you lost?

284
00:16:15,354 --> 00:16:16,378
Completely.

285
00:16:16,455 --> 00:16:18,616
This whole place, this trip, is screaming:

286
00:16:18,691 --> 00:16:20,784
"You should have sex
with your husband again."

287
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:23,795
The fire, the tub.
We've already done it twice today.

288
00:16:23,863 --> 00:16:26,957
It's like sex is the only thing
on the itinerary.

289
00:16:27,033 --> 00:16:29,194
So you two are getting along.

290
00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:31,099
Of course, it's our honeymoon.

291
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,797
- Where's he?
- In bed.

292
00:16:32,872 --> 00:16:34,897
He thinks I'm getting ice.

293
00:16:34,974 --> 00:16:36,942
Then don't forget the ice.

294
00:16:37,009 --> 00:16:40,672
Last night Steve and I held hands
for an hour and a half, watching...

295
00:16:41,213 --> 00:16:42,475
the fire.

296
00:16:42,715 --> 00:16:44,649
He was looking into my eyes.

297
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:46,748
I was looking for the remote.

298
00:16:48,621 --> 00:16:50,885
It feels good to be sarcastic.

299
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,550
You can't be sarcastic on your honeymoon.

300
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,217
You should talk to Steve.

301
00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:58,092
I can't talk to Steve, he's on his honeymoon.

302
00:16:58,197 --> 00:17:00,028
How's Brady? I miss him.

303
00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:02,431
He's great. We're great.

304
00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:06,765
So, this whole motherhood thing,
all it's cracked up to be?

305
00:17:08,841 --> 00:17:10,900
There's something in the bushes.

306
00:17:10,976 --> 00:17:12,807
I hope it's a wild animal...

307
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:15,642
and not Steve coming to have sex
with me again.

308
00:17:16,749 --> 00:17:19,411
I should be able to do this, Carrie.

309
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:22,579
This should be the most romantic time
of my life.

310
00:17:26,525 --> 00:17:27,617
Raccoon.

311
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:30,218
After Miranda used the "S" word twice...

312
00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:33,697
I wondered if should
was another disease plaguing women.

313
00:17:34,066 --> 00:17:37,001
Did we want babies
and perfect honeymoons...

314
00:17:37,069 --> 00:17:41,130
or did we think we should have babies
and perfect honeymoons?

315
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:45,200
How do we separate what we could do
from what we should do?

316
00:17:45,277 --> 00:17:47,074
And here's an alarming thought.'

317
00:17:47,146 --> 00:17:51,446
It's not just peer pressure,
it seems to be coming from within.

318
00:17:52,251 --> 00:17:55,880
Why are we should-ing all over ourselves?

319
00:17:57,456 --> 00:17:59,924
Then there are the shoulds
of promoting a film...

320
00:17:59,992 --> 00:18:03,450
which Samantha should have been
in favor of, but she wasn't in the mood.

321
00:18:03,529 --> 00:18:06,555
You should stay at the party.
Harvey Weinstein is here.

322
00:18:06,632 --> 00:18:09,829
I did enough parties in L.A.
I'd rather go home with my girl.

323
00:18:10,870 --> 00:18:13,168
Smith, right here!

324
00:18:15,007 --> 00:18:17,976
I don't feel like having
my photograph taken tonight.

325
00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:20,841
I'm gonna go out first
and we'll talk tomorrow.

326
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:26,142
What's going on? We haven't spent
a night together since I've been back.

327
00:18:26,218 --> 00:18:28,015
- Did I do something?
- No.

328
00:18:28,087 --> 00:18:30,248
- It's not you.
- Something's up.

329
00:18:30,322 --> 00:18:31,880
You were quiet all night.

330
00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:35,222
You didn't talk that much the last few times
we had phone sex.

331
00:18:37,863 --> 00:18:39,694
When you were in L. A...

332
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:42,928
they found a lump in my breast,
and it's cancer.

333
00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:45,497
Hey, Smith.

334
00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:49,539
The next day at the Hotel Vasectomy...

335
00:18:49,608 --> 00:18:52,771
I had some questions
for the man next to me.

336
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:55,446
So this child you had...

337
00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:58,677
- Yes.
- How old is...

338
00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:01,242
- She.
- She, yes.

339
00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:03,249
Her name is Chloe.

340
00:19:03,322 --> 00:19:04,789
She is 22.

341
00:19:05,191 --> 00:19:08,957
She lives in Paris,
and her mother lives there, too.

342
00:19:11,697 --> 00:19:14,359
- You were married to her mother?
- Yes.

343
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:16,567
It's the only time I was married.

344
00:19:16,836 --> 00:19:19,737
It lasted seven years, five of them good.

345
00:19:28,514 --> 00:19:31,415
This is my little thing at the age of four...

346
00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:34,852
in our little house in Santorini.

347
00:19:34,954 --> 00:19:37,081
- She's beautiful.
- Still is.

348
00:19:37,323 --> 00:19:38,722
That's her mother?

349
00:19:39,158 --> 00:19:40,625
She's lovely.

350
00:19:40,826 --> 00:19:42,293
And so young.

351
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:44,460
I was young then, too.

352
00:19:50,402 --> 00:19:52,302
Why only one child?

353
00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:55,470
I like my life the way I like it.

354
00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:59,536
I got really lucky with Chloe.
Somehow it worked out.

355
00:20:01,347 --> 00:20:03,713
Look, it's her seventh birthday.

356
00:20:03,983 --> 00:20:05,314
Everything is purple.

357
00:20:05,384 --> 00:20:08,319
Purple cake, purple dress, purple shoes.

358
00:20:09,154 --> 00:20:12,317
It was great. So funny.

359
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,528
There it was, wrapped up in a bow.

360
00:20:17,596 --> 00:20:20,258
The whole life
I am never gonna have with him...

361
00:20:20,332 --> 00:20:22,994
because he had it already
with somebody else.

362
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:26,401
And I know I shouldn't say this
to someone with cancer...

363
00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:28,736
but why me?

364
00:20:28,807 --> 00:20:30,172
Let it rip.

365
00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:33,177
I guess it's not going to happen.

366
00:20:33,646 --> 00:20:35,511
That life, if I'm with him.

367
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:38,573
Then bye-bye, baby.
What else is on the menu?

368
00:20:38,851 --> 00:20:40,045
What do you mean?

369
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:44,078
There are a lot of fabulous things in life
that don't include a baby.

370
00:20:45,024 --> 00:20:46,992
What would that be like?

371
00:20:47,526 --> 00:20:48,754
Well.

372
00:20:49,228 --> 00:20:50,320
Him.

373
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:54,165
Sex and travel, comfort...

374
00:20:55,601 --> 00:20:56,829
Iove...

375
00:20:57,436 --> 00:21:00,234
and extraordinary adventures.

376
00:21:00,739 --> 00:21:02,036
Not too shabby.

377
00:21:02,107 --> 00:21:03,904
If that's where this is going.

378
00:21:03,976 --> 00:21:06,536
At this point, I've only been invited in
as far as...

379
00:21:06,612 --> 00:21:08,671
a security code and a robe.

380
00:21:08,914 --> 00:21:10,905
And the question that I need to ask...

381
00:21:10,983 --> 00:21:13,577
is just impossible to ask.

382
00:21:13,652 --> 00:21:15,176
What is that?

383
00:21:16,322 --> 00:21:18,290
"Will you love me enough...

384
00:21:19,024 --> 00:21:21,822
"to make up for the fact
that I didn't have a baby?"

385
00:21:21,894 --> 00:21:25,330
- Honey, no.
- Exactly, it's only been two months.

386
00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:28,967
38 years and two months.

387
00:21:29,034 --> 00:21:31,195
No, no.

388
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,601
I know.

389
00:21:32,805 --> 00:21:36,297
It's too early in a relationship
to have that conversation...

390
00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,502
but it's too late in my life not to.

391
00:21:40,679 --> 00:21:42,408
It's a catch-38.

392
00:21:44,617 --> 00:21:46,847
And after safely putting Brady to bed...

393
00:21:46,919 --> 00:21:48,819
in his very sturdy crib...

394
00:21:48,887 --> 00:21:51,856
Charlotte and Harry
enjoyed some romance as well.

395
00:21:53,859 --> 00:21:55,292
Oh, my God.

396
00:21:55,828 --> 00:21:57,659
Oh, my God, stop!

397
00:21:57,730 --> 00:21:59,220
What happened?

398
00:21:59,298 --> 00:22:02,290
Brady saw us having sex.
I've scarred him for life.

399
00:22:02,368 --> 00:22:04,734
Him? You've scarred me for life.

400
00:22:04,803 --> 00:22:06,031
Brady.

401
00:22:08,774 --> 00:22:10,071
Look away.

402
00:22:20,452 --> 00:22:21,646
Hello?

403
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,051
I have bad news.

404
00:22:23,122 --> 00:22:25,352
Spit it out. Do I need to come home?

405
00:22:25,424 --> 00:22:28,052
Brady saw us having sex.

406
00:22:28,694 --> 00:22:31,458
- And...
- He was looking at me during...

407
00:22:31,530 --> 00:22:33,691
He doesn't know what he's looking at.

408
00:22:33,766 --> 00:22:35,825
He doesn't know where his nose is.

409
00:22:35,901 --> 00:22:37,368
Are you sure?

410
00:22:37,436 --> 00:22:40,997
Harry, Brady can't be anywhere near
this conversation.

411
00:22:41,073 --> 00:22:44,099
I think it may be too late.
He just said, "Sex is dirty."

412
00:22:44,176 --> 00:22:45,803
That's not funny.

413
00:22:46,278 --> 00:22:48,075
Charlotte, he's fine.

414
00:22:50,783 --> 00:22:53,547
But you sound tense.
Maybe I should still come home.

415
00:22:53,619 --> 00:22:57,111
No, I'm sorry to bother you.
Go back to your honeymoon.

416
00:22:57,189 --> 00:22:58,781
I still have half a bar left...

417
00:22:58,857 --> 00:23:00,825
- No!
- What?

418
00:23:02,227 --> 00:23:03,717
Are you on the phone?

419
00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:07,797
Charlotte panicked, but everything's fine.

420
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:09,790
Then come back to bed.

421
00:23:11,236 --> 00:23:14,069
I don't need to come to bed. I'm rested.

422
00:23:14,239 --> 00:23:15,968
So am I, come on.

423
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:19,408
Steve, I can't have sex anymore.

424
00:23:19,478 --> 00:23:22,345
- I have a brain.
- I know you have a brain.

425
00:23:22,414 --> 00:23:24,678
I love you, but I can't love you this often.

426
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:28,550
I can't love you twice a day every day.
I'm going crazy here.

427
00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:31,589
I miss ESPN and NPR and Dateline.

428
00:23:31,657 --> 00:23:33,852
I am not the honeymoon type.

429
00:23:34,727 --> 00:23:36,126
Do you hate me?

430
00:23:36,195 --> 00:23:38,425
No, I don't hate you.

431
00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:41,623
But it was my honeymoon, too.

432
00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:43,463
I like being quiet sometimes.

433
00:23:43,535 --> 00:23:45,025
I like reading a book.

434
00:23:45,104 --> 00:23:47,834
Four days is a long time.

435
00:23:47,906 --> 00:23:51,398
It isn't actually,
but it's all I had off from work.

436
00:23:51,977 --> 00:23:55,606
Suddenly, Miranda understood
the new should in her life.

437
00:23:56,014 --> 00:23:58,642
The things you should do
for someone you love.

438
00:23:58,951 --> 00:24:01,749
I'm sorry, Steve, I'm an asshole.

439
00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:04,084
Yeah, you are, but you're my asshole.

440
00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:08,125
That's sweet and gross at the same time.

441
00:24:09,228 --> 00:24:10,695
Well, relax.

442
00:24:11,463 --> 00:24:13,226
We're leaving in the morning.

443
00:24:13,532 --> 00:24:15,261
The honeymoon's over.

444
00:24:16,535 --> 00:24:18,093
Say that again.

445
00:24:18,837 --> 00:24:20,498
The honeymoon's over.

446
00:24:21,373 --> 00:24:24,240
For Miranda, once the honeymoon
was over...

447
00:24:24,309 --> 00:24:25,970
it could finally begin.

448
00:24:26,145 --> 00:24:29,376
Hey, I got a brain, you know.

449
00:24:35,587 --> 00:24:38,055
The next day, at Dr. McAndrew's office...

450
00:24:38,123 --> 00:24:40,717
impatient patients were getting desperate.

451
00:24:44,897 --> 00:24:46,228
God bless.

452
00:24:52,738 --> 00:24:54,501
Pulling out all the stops, huh?

453
00:24:54,606 --> 00:24:56,574
What else was I gonna wear?

454
00:24:56,642 --> 00:24:58,041
A big tumor?

455
00:25:06,652 --> 00:25:08,984
This is my second day at this...

456
00:25:09,321 --> 00:25:12,085
facacta office, and my good friend...

457
00:25:12,157 --> 00:25:14,455
the features editor at Vanity Fair...

458
00:25:14,526 --> 00:25:18,360
Miss Jones, I've told you a thousand times,
there's nothing I can do.

459
00:25:20,199 --> 00:25:21,564
Oh, my God.

460
00:25:24,169 --> 00:25:26,262
You're Smith Jerrod's girlfriend?

461
00:25:27,306 --> 00:25:30,207
Yes, I suppose I am.

462
00:25:30,342 --> 00:25:33,334
It was the one name
Samantha hadn't dropped.

463
00:25:33,612 --> 00:25:35,978
Oh, my gosh, I love him.

464
00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:39,947
He's my screen saver.

465
00:25:42,254 --> 00:25:43,778
What's he like?

466
00:25:43,922 --> 00:25:47,619
He's a very loyal boyfriend.

467
00:25:47,693 --> 00:25:49,388
Always by my side.

468
00:25:49,461 --> 00:25:53,124
He would probably come here with me
if I had an appointment.

469
00:25:53,198 --> 00:25:55,063
Smith Jerrod, in this office?

470
00:25:55,767 --> 00:25:57,132
Oh, my gosh.

471
00:25:57,202 --> 00:25:58,567
Let's see...

472
00:26:00,038 --> 00:26:03,804
Sometimes I make an appointment at 8:00.
She doesn't like it, but she'll do it.

473
00:26:03,876 --> 00:26:07,368
- I could come at 8:00.
- And Smith? Does he get up that early?

474
00:26:07,479 --> 00:26:09,276
For this, I think he would.

475
00:26:09,481 --> 00:26:10,675
And...

476
00:26:11,383 --> 00:26:13,578
if you could get her an appointment...

477
00:26:14,386 --> 00:26:17,014
he might kiss you on the lips.

478
00:26:18,423 --> 00:26:21,586
You're tomorrow at 8:00 am, she's 7:45.

479
00:26:22,294 --> 00:26:23,989
Thank you so much.

480
00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:26,863
Smith turned out to be more
than a screen saver.

481
00:26:26,932 --> 00:26:28,365
He was a lifesaver.

482
00:26:28,433 --> 00:26:29,559
We're in.

483
00:26:30,736 --> 00:26:32,169
Oh, my God.

484
00:26:32,237 --> 00:26:34,137
No, oh, my boyfriend.

485
00:26:34,206 --> 00:26:36,538
That is how Smith got Samantha in.

486
00:26:36,608 --> 00:26:37,802
Plus nun.

487
00:26:43,949 --> 00:26:45,974
- Are you cold?
- I'm okay.

488
00:26:48,153 --> 00:26:50,018
You're very quiet today.

489
00:26:51,490 --> 00:26:52,855
What is it?

490
00:26:55,594 --> 00:26:57,186
This vasectomy.

491
00:27:00,065 --> 00:27:01,930
It's not reversible, is it?

492
00:27:02,768 --> 00:27:04,759
I guess, not for me.

493
00:27:06,471 --> 00:27:07,665
Okay.

494
00:27:12,311 --> 00:27:14,472
And we are quiet again, eh?

495
00:27:19,184 --> 00:27:20,947
I know you may think...

496
00:27:21,253 --> 00:27:24,689
it's way too early to say
what I'm about to say...

497
00:27:26,391 --> 00:27:27,653
but it's not.

498
00:27:27,726 --> 00:27:29,125
To say what?

499
00:27:31,363 --> 00:27:34,230
I think that...

500
00:27:35,767 --> 00:27:37,758
I could really be with you.

501
00:27:38,470 --> 00:27:41,871
And I just want to say that...

502
00:27:42,941 --> 00:27:45,341
if this is something...

503
00:27:46,078 --> 00:27:47,807
you are thinking...

504
00:27:48,313 --> 00:27:50,372
I need to know, because...

505
00:27:52,384 --> 00:27:54,818
I'm 38, as you said...

506
00:28:01,626 --> 00:28:02,854
I'm 38.

507
00:28:03,695 --> 00:28:05,219
Thirty-eight is young.

508
00:28:05,297 --> 00:28:08,198
That depends who you're talking to.

509
00:28:10,635 --> 00:28:12,660
So here we are, so soon.

510
00:28:14,573 --> 00:28:16,006
As you said...

511
00:28:18,577 --> 00:28:21,068
I could really be with you as well.

512
00:28:22,214 --> 00:28:24,375
But believe me, I know who I am...

513
00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:26,843
and I won't change my mind.

514
00:28:28,086 --> 00:28:30,486
I'm simply too old for that.

515
00:28:32,457 --> 00:28:35,324
Being a parent is an extraordinary thing.

516
00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:40,122
I wouldn't want you to miss that,
if it's something you want.

517
00:28:40,198 --> 00:28:43,224
And you should have everything you want.

518
00:28:49,274 --> 00:28:50,866
I am kind of cold.

519
00:29:02,287 --> 00:29:04,585
I didn't know exactly what I wanted...

520
00:29:05,023 --> 00:29:07,321
but I felt like I was getting warmer.

521
00:29:19,000 --> 00:30:03,000
Ripped by RavyDavy
part of the [RL] Crew