0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:54,532 I didn't go to my high school reunion. 2 00:00:54,601 --> 00:00:57,468 So when my high-school sweetheart called me for a reunion... 3 00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:58,765 I was curious to see... 4 00:00:58,839 --> 00:01:02,400 if he looked like the boy I used to make out with in front of my locker. 5 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,774 Can you tell me how to get to Chemistry class? 6 00:01:04,845 --> 00:01:07,075 Actually, he looked better. 7 00:01:07,547 --> 00:01:10,209 My God, Jeremy! 8 00:01:11,651 --> 00:01:13,619 That's my name. Don't wear it out. 9 00:01:14,221 --> 00:01:16,883 Wow! You look great! 10 00:01:16,957 --> 00:01:20,222 I knew you looked great 'cause I saw you on the cover of your book. 11 00:01:20,293 --> 00:01:22,523 But I have to say, even better in person. 12 00:01:22,596 --> 00:01:24,086 God, I'm so glad you called. 13 00:01:24,164 --> 00:01:26,792 I'm going to be spending the month in Connecticut, so... 14 00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,027 I had to look you up. 15 00:01:28,802 --> 00:01:32,294 How are you? I heard you married somebody that you met in business school. 16 00:01:32,372 --> 00:01:35,034 Yeah. I got divorced, like, two years ago. 17 00:01:35,108 --> 00:01:37,269 Really miscalculated that one. 18 00:01:37,711 --> 00:01:39,178 So I'm on my own again. 19 00:01:41,248 --> 00:01:43,876 How about you? Are you seeing anybody or... 20 00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:47,113 - Nope. Wide open. - How is that possible? 21 00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:50,179 My high school boyfriend spoiled me for life. 22 00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:52,691 Right. Me and my AMC Pacer. 23 00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:56,354 Oh, the Pacer! Oh, man! 24 00:01:56,930 --> 00:01:59,990 - I put our names down for a table. - Great. 25 00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:03,194 Look, earlier you said maybe you might have dinner plans. 26 00:02:03,904 --> 00:02:06,134 Was that in case I turned out to be a... 27 00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,573 Yeah, maybe. 28 00:02:08,642 --> 00:02:12,442 But my fictional plans fell through... 29 00:02:12,512 --> 00:02:13,911 so I'm available. 30 00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,643 Miranda had no plans that night... 31 00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:20,584 so she was thrilled when her cute, new neighbor stopped by. 32 00:02:23,256 --> 00:02:25,247 I didn't expect you home on a Saturday night. 33 00:02:25,325 --> 00:02:26,758 Motherhood. 34 00:02:27,627 --> 00:02:29,356 So what's my excuse? 35 00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:31,622 I just got Brady to sleep. 36 00:02:32,265 --> 00:02:34,859 - Now, do you sing to him? - Only if he's been bad. 37 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:39,595 Listen, I have these two courtside seats... 38 00:02:39,673 --> 00:02:42,767 for the Knicks charity game at the Garden next Friday night. 39 00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:45,344 - Would you want to go? - I would love to. 40 00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:46,434 Great. 41 00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:51,015 - Great. I'll look for you there. - Okay. 42 00:02:51,818 --> 00:02:55,379 - Thanks so much. - Good night. 43 00:02:56,523 --> 00:02:57,717 You, too. 44 00:02:58,258 --> 00:03:02,126 Miranda wasn't sure if it was a charity game or just charity. 45 00:03:04,097 --> 00:03:06,622 I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut. 46 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,225 Nothing, for a change. 47 00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:13,295 I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver... 48 00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:15,739 so I decided to take a month off. 49 00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:18,273 Spend some time at sea level. 50 00:03:18,345 --> 00:03:22,543 So I've just been relaxing in the country, sorting through some things, you know. 51 00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:25,750 Sometimes you need to get away. 52 00:03:27,187 --> 00:03:29,655 Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long. 53 00:03:35,495 --> 00:03:38,931 Well, this is my place. 54 00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:44,669 - It's a nice place. - Yeah, I love it here. 55 00:03:47,507 --> 00:03:50,670 I feel like I want to kiss you, but I... 56 00:03:51,711 --> 00:03:54,942 - I don't know what... - I know. It's very unclear. 57 00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:58,416 I mean, this isn't a first date. We've already dated. 58 00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:00,248 - And we've kissed. - Many times. 59 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,881 - Hours. - We were in a lip-lock for most of 1982. 60 00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:05,947 So... 61 00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:09,651 what's one more kiss? 62 00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:15,362 You mean business. 63 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:38,388 That's a lot better without the gearshift sticking up my ass. 64 00:04:42,295 --> 00:04:45,321 It was a romantic, hot summer night... 65 00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:49,425 followed by a miserable, hot summer day... 66 00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,630 which was the fourteenth miserable, hot summer day in a row. 67 00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:57,336 - Samantha Jones. How are you? - Great, Phoebe. How are you? 68 00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:02,515 Refreshed. We just dropped by the Soho House for a dip. 69 00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:05,551 I mean, what else can you possibly do in this heat... 70 00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:10,556 except sit by the pool and drink cocktails while they mist you with Evian. 71 00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:13,353 - Isn't it the best? - It's fabulous. 72 00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:16,657 I'm running to a lunch, otherwise I'd be up there myself. 73 00:05:17,297 --> 00:05:18,423 Toodles. 74 00:05:18,732 --> 00:05:21,724 There's a pool a block from my apartment and I can't get in. 75 00:05:21,801 --> 00:05:23,735 - What pool? - At the Soho House. 76 00:05:23,803 --> 00:05:26,795 You have to be a member and I'm on a bullshit wait list. 77 00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:30,570 - Don't they know who you are? - And, more importantly, who we are... 78 00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,703 who need to be at the pool with you. 79 00:05:32,779 --> 00:05:35,680 You know, in high school, all you had to do was jump a fence... 80 00:05:35,749 --> 00:05:37,944 and you could be in somebody's pool. 81 00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:41,476 Speaking of high school, I saw my high-school sweetheart... 82 00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:45,748 and I think I might like him. Again. 83 00:05:45,892 --> 00:05:48,884 - Is that crazy? - No, I love this. 84 00:05:49,062 --> 00:05:51,360 You could end up with your high-school boyfriend. 85 00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:52,989 Okay, let's not jump the gun. 86 00:05:53,066 --> 00:05:57,560 It was the best date I've had in a long time and I wasn't even thinking it was a date. 87 00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,766 - When he kissed me good night... - He kissed you good night? 88 00:06:03,376 --> 00:06:04,707 It was wild. 89 00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:08,714 Because I actually remembered what it felt like to kiss him. 90 00:06:08,782 --> 00:06:12,218 Imagine if you slept with him. Talk about a homecoming. 91 00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:13,684 No! 92 00:06:13,987 --> 00:06:15,887 - We never went all the way. - Why not? 93 00:06:15,955 --> 00:06:18,549 Because we were kids. We wanted to wait. 94 00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:21,992 And now, I think we've waited long enough. 95 00:06:22,295 --> 00:06:23,557 You're marrying him. 96 00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:26,861 Will you stop? He doesn't even live in New York. He lives in Denver. 97 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:30,926 - People move. It would be so romantic. - Or tragic. Seriously. 98 00:06:31,137 --> 00:06:33,628 If I had the guy in high school... 99 00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:36,642 what have I been doing for the past 20 years? 100 00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,234 Why did you two break up? 101 00:06:38,311 --> 00:06:41,872 I broke up because I thought, "There must be better guys out there." 102 00:06:41,948 --> 00:06:44,314 Turns out, there aren't. 103 00:06:45,051 --> 00:06:48,782 That night I started thinking about my retro relationship. 104 00:06:48,855 --> 00:06:50,948 Since high school, most women I know... 105 00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:54,755 have acquired much better taste in clothes, hairstyles, and food. 106 00:06:54,828 --> 00:06:56,227 But what about in men? 107 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,136 Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more. 108 00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:08,207 Have we graduated past our ability to find true love? 109 00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:13,102 When it comes to matters of the heart, did we have it right in high school? 110 00:07:16,549 --> 00:07:19,916 Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school... 111 00:07:19,986 --> 00:07:23,319 so she refused to believe that any club was too cool for her now. 112 00:07:23,389 --> 00:07:26,984 Especially since New York in August is not cool at all. 113 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,823 - May I help you? - I hope so. 114 00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:31,455 I'd like to know what's holding up my membership. 115 00:07:31,531 --> 00:07:33,624 I've been on the wait list since June. 116 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,863 Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members. 117 00:07:36,936 --> 00:07:40,394 The pool is so fabulous, we're at capacity every day. 118 00:07:42,242 --> 00:07:46,679 - Do you know who I am? - No, I don't. 119 00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:49,044 But we can't accommodate you right now. 120 00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:54,009 Can I at least use the restroom before I go, or is there a wait list for that as well? 121 00:07:54,087 --> 00:07:57,818 Down the corridor on your left, the door marked "WC." 122 00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:10,230 Miss, did you leave your card on the sink? 123 00:08:11,471 --> 00:08:15,202 Oh, yes. Yes, I did. Thank you so much. 124 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:18,867 Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the Soho House... 125 00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:22,244 she figured she could be Annabelle Bronstein. 126 00:08:29,455 --> 00:08:33,789 The next day, Samantha tested the waters with her fake ID. 127 00:08:34,027 --> 00:08:38,327 Excuse me, can I get you something to drink, Miss Bronstein? 128 00:08:39,566 --> 00:08:42,501 Yes, but I'll just pay cash. 129 00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:46,933 And please, call me Annabelle. 130 00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,206 Meanwhile, a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria. 131 00:08:52,278 --> 00:08:56,715 But this time, Cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea. 132 00:08:58,151 --> 00:09:01,120 - Thank you. - God, I hate him. 133 00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:04,146 Come on, we're going over there. 134 00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:06,590 - Why? - Because you're in a tank top. 135 00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,054 Really. 136 00:09:08,428 --> 00:09:10,589 - Hi. - Oh, hi. 137 00:09:10,663 --> 00:09:12,790 You're here. What a small world. 138 00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:17,235 That's Chelsea for you. Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know. 139 00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:23,638 We'd love to stay and chat, but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom. 140 00:09:23,743 --> 00:09:25,233 Did you say "the prom"? 141 00:09:25,378 --> 00:09:29,815 Yes, it's a big fundraiser at the gay-lesbian-bi-transgender center. 142 00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:34,081 - I'm on the decorations committee. - What's the theme, "Queer and Queerer"? 143 00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:39,519 I have the best memories of my prom. I was the prom queen. 144 00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:41,082 Of course you were, darling. 145 00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:45,525 - I missed my prom in high school because... - You were gay. 146 00:09:46,132 --> 00:09:49,795 No. My girlfriend and I broke up the night before because... 147 00:09:49,869 --> 00:09:51,393 You were gay. 148 00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:55,607 - No, I wasn't gay until... - You were born. 149 00:09:57,510 --> 00:10:01,139 Never mind. Goodbye, Charlotte. 150 00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:03,541 - Bye. - Bye, Marcus. 151 00:10:06,753 --> 00:10:10,780 Those two should be going to the gay-lesbian-and-prostitute prom. 152 00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:13,249 - Be nice. - What? 153 00:10:13,326 --> 00:10:16,591 I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort. 154 00:10:16,696 --> 00:10:20,462 - He was not. - Honey, wake up and smell the K-Y. 155 00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:22,865 I was flipping through a vintage issue of Honcho. 156 00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:26,565 I saw his ad in the Rauncho section. He called himself Paul. 157 00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:29,005 Worst hustler name I ever heard. 158 00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:31,109 He and Stanford are in love. 159 00:10:31,177 --> 00:10:34,772 Well, according to Honcho, he used to be in love all over town. 160 00:10:35,248 --> 00:10:38,843 - You are mistaken. - There's a picture. I'll send you the ad. 161 00:10:38,918 --> 00:10:41,546 - I don't want to see it. - I'm sending it, prom queen. 162 00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:43,918 - What can I get you? - Cute waiter. 163 00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:49,258 I wish I didn't know this. 164 00:10:53,132 --> 00:10:54,827 Do you think Stanford knows? 165 00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:58,598 Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it in Madison Square Garden. 166 00:11:01,307 --> 00:11:04,174 I don't think that these people know those people. 167 00:11:07,213 --> 00:11:11,343 - Look at how cute he is. - He is gorgeous. 168 00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:17,056 He looked at me. Did you see him look at me? 169 00:11:17,123 --> 00:11:19,318 - He totally likes you. - You think? 170 00:11:19,392 --> 00:11:20,984 Look at these seats. 171 00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:24,223 You're right. These seats are too good to be casual. 172 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:31,869 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Knicks City Dancers. 173 00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:34,031 Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader? 174 00:11:34,107 --> 00:11:37,804 No, because you knew I would mock you endlessly. 175 00:12:02,869 --> 00:12:04,336 Did you used to do that? 176 00:12:04,737 --> 00:12:08,366 No, we just did some herkies and some kicks. 177 00:12:22,455 --> 00:12:25,822 - What is she doing? - The blonde one in front? 178 00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:37,127 - She's flirting with your boyfriend. - He's not my boyfriend. 179 00:12:39,972 --> 00:12:42,133 What is she, like, 21? 180 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:46,478 It was Friday night, it was the big game... 181 00:12:46,546 --> 00:12:49,538 and Miranda was jealous of a cheerleader. 182 00:12:52,385 --> 00:12:56,788 Two hours later, the game ended and Miranda felt like the loser. 183 00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:59,248 Okay, let's just go. 184 00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:01,792 No, you have to go over there and talk to him. 185 00:13:01,861 --> 00:13:04,887 - He's talking to her. - You are better than her. 186 00:13:04,964 --> 00:13:06,761 Go on. You can do it. 187 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:11,837 - Are you gonna do a herkie now? - Just you go over there and flirt a little bit. 188 00:13:13,239 --> 00:13:14,365 Go. Go. 189 00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:20,238 The Knicks and Madison Square Garden thank you for coming. 190 00:13:20,313 --> 00:13:21,507 Have a safe trip home. 191 00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:23,344 That's it. I'm out. 192 00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:28,146 Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie... 193 00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:32,123 which in high school was code for, "Come over and make out." 194 00:13:32,391 --> 00:13:34,723 And happily, it still was. 195 00:13:34,794 --> 00:13:38,161 I've gotta run. Last train leaves in half an hour. 196 00:13:39,232 --> 00:13:41,097 I think you should stay. 197 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,893 I think we should go all the way. 198 00:13:45,404 --> 00:13:47,429 - All the way? - We never did. 199 00:13:47,507 --> 00:13:51,773 And now we can, and your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her TaB. 200 00:13:53,446 --> 00:13:54,743 That's true. 201 00:13:56,048 --> 00:13:58,949 Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something. 202 00:13:59,118 --> 00:14:02,952 That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like. 203 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:06,117 I'm not really just taking time off. 204 00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,317 I'm sort of in a... 205 00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:14,893 mental institution. 206 00:14:15,535 --> 00:14:18,971 No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear. 207 00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:23,206 I wanted a man who would commit, not a man who was committed. 208 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:25,403 Apparently, we have to be more specific. 209 00:14:25,478 --> 00:14:28,811 - But how is he able to see you? - Did he escape? 210 00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:31,442 No, he's voluntary. 211 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:34,042 He says it's not really a mental institution... 212 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,816 it's a therapeutic community. 213 00:14:36,889 --> 00:14:38,686 - Which one? - Juno-Spears. 214 00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:41,522 That's supposed to be a good one. I've had clients go there. 215 00:14:41,594 --> 00:14:43,357 Really? Why haven't we heard about that? 216 00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:46,865 Because I'm good at my job. No one wants to admit they're in a loony bin. 217 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:49,868 - On a first date. - It's all humiliating. 218 00:14:50,002 --> 00:14:52,300 Think about what we have to go through to date. 219 00:14:52,371 --> 00:14:56,068 I am 38, and I am competing with a cheerleader. 220 00:14:56,142 --> 00:15:00,044 And even when you get the guy, you never know what fun surprise might be revealed. 221 00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:02,080 Let me tell you something, ladies. 222 00:15:02,748 --> 00:15:06,013 In a good relationship, there are no surprises. 223 00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:10,879 I know everything about Marcus, and Marcus knows everything about me. 224 00:15:15,895 --> 00:15:17,863 I don't think he knows everything. 225 00:15:18,864 --> 00:15:20,024 What? 226 00:15:22,802 --> 00:15:23,791 What? 227 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,968 Charlotte, like all girls, learned at an early age... 228 00:15:27,039 --> 00:15:30,497 that the only way to get rid of information you don't want to have... 229 00:15:30,576 --> 00:15:31,804 is to pass it on. 230 00:15:32,979 --> 00:15:35,539 Oh, my God! Is this real? 231 00:15:35,615 --> 00:15:39,142 Anthony found it in an old issue of Honcho magazine. 232 00:15:39,518 --> 00:15:41,179 Let me see that. 233 00:15:41,654 --> 00:15:44,885 Oh, my! Is that Marcus? 234 00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:49,355 - What is that? - Nothing. 235 00:15:49,962 --> 00:15:51,759 Okay, hand it over. 236 00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:55,193 Okay, hand it over. 237 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,007 Where did this come from? 238 00:16:05,211 --> 00:16:08,703 Someone better tell me where this came from right now. I'm not kidding. 239 00:16:08,781 --> 00:16:11,341 - I got it from Carrie. - I got it from Miranda. 240 00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:13,817 - I got it from Charlotte. - I got it from Anthony... 241 00:16:13,886 --> 00:16:16,446 but I told him you and Marcus were very much in love. 242 00:16:16,522 --> 00:16:19,218 Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love. 243 00:16:19,292 --> 00:16:22,853 But like the Knicks, her team was having a bad season. 244 00:16:22,928 --> 00:16:26,489 Well, you think you know somebody... 245 00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:32,601 Excuse me, which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein? 246 00:16:32,938 --> 00:16:35,702 - I am. - Well, that's impossible. 247 00:16:35,775 --> 00:16:38,335 Miss Bronstein is in London for the week. 248 00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:41,936 No, I am Annabelle Bronstein. 249 00:16:43,082 --> 00:16:44,276 And she's British. 250 00:16:45,518 --> 00:16:47,952 As I was saying, dear sir... 251 00:16:48,487 --> 00:16:50,819 I am Annabelle Bronstein. 252 00:16:51,090 --> 00:16:54,821 I'm fairly certain you're not Annabelle. I've spoken to her on the phone. 253 00:16:55,695 --> 00:16:58,721 I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein... 254 00:16:58,831 --> 00:17:03,234 and I do not pay $900 annually... 255 00:17:03,302 --> 00:17:04,826 to be treated like this. 256 00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:08,635 Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks. 257 00:17:09,809 --> 00:17:12,972 - What's with the accent? - She's got a case of the Madonnas. 258 00:17:13,045 --> 00:17:16,606 I'm sorry, but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card. 259 00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:20,513 Yes, I thought I did... 260 00:17:21,554 --> 00:17:23,613 but it was on top of the telly. 261 00:17:24,056 --> 00:17:27,992 And Miss Bronstein is from Sussex, as am I... 262 00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:32,497 and I'd venture to guess that you are not, in fact, from the UK. 263 00:17:33,566 --> 00:17:34,965 That's true. 264 00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,828 I was raised in Inja. 265 00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:42,633 On any given day, there are a lot of versions of "crazy" right here in New York. 266 00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:46,940 Today, Annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities... 267 00:17:47,113 --> 00:17:49,343 and at least two accents. 268 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:54,777 Hey, Hobbes. Where did you disappear to after the game? 269 00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:59,717 I was gonna thank you, but you were talking to that girl. 270 00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,491 - What girl? - Some cheerleader. 271 00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:08,223 - Do you like her? - No. 272 00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:12,261 I like someone else. 273 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:15,829 You. 274 00:18:16,041 --> 00:18:18,669 This cheered Miranda up immediately. 275 00:18:18,744 --> 00:18:20,541 Now, see, how would I know that? 276 00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:23,437 Well... 277 00:18:26,118 --> 00:18:27,881 Would it be any clearer... 278 00:18:29,588 --> 00:18:30,953 if I did this? 279 00:18:42,635 --> 00:18:45,126 - Hi, Mrs. McCaffrey. - Hello, Mrs. McCaffrey. 280 00:18:48,741 --> 00:18:52,006 I wanted you to have these. Marbles. 281 00:18:52,411 --> 00:18:55,903 In case I lose any more of mine, I want to know where I can find a stash. 282 00:18:56,048 --> 00:18:59,745 - How are you? Do you want to come in? - She asked with trepidation. 283 00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:01,684 No, I think it's great what you're doing... 284 00:19:01,754 --> 00:19:05,155 I know I probably threw you for a loop the other day, but... 285 00:19:05,257 --> 00:19:09,489 I should probably just come right out and say something about this, but I... 286 00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:12,122 Truth is, I haven't worked out my rap on it yet. 287 00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:15,429 - Well, it's a tough thing to slip in. - Yeah, it is. 288 00:19:15,768 --> 00:19:18,965 "Hi, I might be crazy. Would you like to share an appetizer?" 289 00:19:20,873 --> 00:19:24,240 The thing is, I think I made it sound worse than it is. 290 00:19:24,343 --> 00:19:27,073 If you saw Juno-Spears, you'd see it's not a cuckoo's nest. 291 00:19:27,146 --> 00:19:30,411 It's more like Canyon Ranch for the brain. 292 00:19:30,716 --> 00:19:34,015 - Do they have pilates? - They do have pilates. 293 00:19:35,087 --> 00:19:38,682 I don't want to lie to you. I am going through some pretty heavy stuff. 294 00:19:38,757 --> 00:19:41,453 I mean, soul-searching, really. 295 00:19:42,361 --> 00:19:44,591 Trying to figure out why... 296 00:19:44,797 --> 00:19:48,130 some things seem to be harder for me than they are for other people. 297 00:19:49,034 --> 00:19:51,468 I think my family has something to do with it. 298 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,466 - It's good to blame the parents, right? - Right. 299 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:57,338 So I figured I could spend the next five years in therapy... 300 00:19:57,409 --> 00:20:00,469 or spend the next month and deal with it intensively right now. 301 00:20:00,546 --> 00:20:01,706 It's just more efficient. 302 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:05,272 - You make a very good case. - That's what my doctors say. 303 00:20:06,752 --> 00:20:08,549 Well, that's it. Ta-da! 304 00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:12,182 I just wanted to explain myself so that... 305 00:20:12,258 --> 00:20:17,059 I didn't become known eternally as that nut case you dated back in high school. 306 00:20:17,129 --> 00:20:20,758 How about "my high-school boyfriend who was the best kisser ever"? 307 00:20:20,866 --> 00:20:22,493 I could live with that. 308 00:20:22,835 --> 00:20:25,269 You're not bad yourself, either, you know. 309 00:20:26,105 --> 00:20:29,768 That night we went all the way. And we weren't the only ones. 310 00:20:40,953 --> 00:20:44,320 The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by. 311 00:20:44,857 --> 00:20:47,758 It's true. Marcus was a gay escort. 312 00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:51,828 - But he's been off the market since 1992. - So you talked about it? 313 00:20:51,897 --> 00:20:56,334 Yes, and he says he did it just to put himself through dance classes. 314 00:20:56,802 --> 00:21:01,671 - But if that's true, then why keep it a secret? - Maybe he was embarrassed. 315 00:21:01,907 --> 00:21:05,001 Yes, but it's not the escort thing... 316 00:21:05,077 --> 00:21:08,706 but the secret thing that's bothering me. I was the last to know. 317 00:21:08,914 --> 00:21:13,476 I don't want to hear the truth from some bitchy queen with back issues of Honcho. 318 00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:15,111 So... 319 00:21:16,322 --> 00:21:17,448 we broke up. 320 00:21:17,523 --> 00:21:20,083 - Stanny, really? - Yes. 321 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,990 And right before the prom. 322 00:21:24,296 --> 00:21:27,356 And I still have to go, because I'm on the decorations committee. 323 00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:29,697 And I have no date. Again. 324 00:21:30,736 --> 00:21:33,068 - When is it? - Tomorrow night. 325 00:21:33,405 --> 00:21:35,896 Will you please go with me? 326 00:21:35,975 --> 00:21:39,103 I can't. I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum. 327 00:21:39,211 --> 00:21:40,542 Of course you do. 328 00:21:40,779 --> 00:21:44,806 He wants me to see the place for myself. It's supposed to be like Canyon Ranch. 329 00:21:45,117 --> 00:21:47,278 - Honey. - I know. 330 00:21:47,786 --> 00:21:50,118 - But I like him. - You'd have to. 331 00:21:50,189 --> 00:21:52,657 Who are we to say, he's got issues, he's getting help? 332 00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:56,991 Usually, that's considered a good thing. It's New York. Everybody's insane. 333 00:21:57,396 --> 00:21:59,830 - You slept with him, didn't you? - Yes. 334 00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:03,326 That's where the problems begin. 335 00:22:03,402 --> 00:22:07,805 You sleep with someone, you start rationalizing away all the red flags. 336 00:22:07,873 --> 00:22:09,841 At least he was honest about it. 337 00:22:09,908 --> 00:22:13,241 Yes, unlike Paul. 338 00:22:26,492 --> 00:22:31,225 Apparently, the Juno-Spears Center was harder than the Soho House to get into. 339 00:22:31,597 --> 00:22:32,825 Or out of. 340 00:22:40,272 --> 00:22:45,039 Even as a visitor, I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to. 341 00:22:47,179 --> 00:22:48,874 It's kind of nice, huh? 342 00:22:48,981 --> 00:22:51,779 There are great hiking trails all around here. 343 00:22:51,984 --> 00:22:55,579 - Maybe later we can do a hike. - I don't really hike. 344 00:22:55,754 --> 00:22:59,554 Neither do I. But I will fill you in on something I discovered. 345 00:23:00,092 --> 00:23:03,425 Hiking is walking. 346 00:23:03,729 --> 00:23:05,162 - Really? - Yes, hiking is walking. 347 00:23:05,230 --> 00:23:08,324 I started to think maybe the Juno-Spears Center... 348 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,459 should be mandatory for New Yorkers. 349 00:23:10,536 --> 00:23:12,629 Like the Hamptons or Fire Island. 350 00:23:12,705 --> 00:23:14,002 Feces! 351 00:23:24,850 --> 00:23:27,910 I guess that doesn't happen very often at Canyon Ranch. 352 00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:30,920 I've never been. It might. 353 00:23:31,457 --> 00:23:34,893 Who am I kidding? This is a full-on psychiatric facility. 354 00:23:35,194 --> 00:23:36,456 With pilates. 355 00:23:38,797 --> 00:23:42,028 - You're definitely the sanest person here. - Thank you. 356 00:23:42,101 --> 00:23:44,262 That's like being the best house on a bad block. 357 00:23:44,336 --> 00:23:47,169 People would advise you against buying it. 358 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,306 Maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to start something while I was still in here. 359 00:23:54,446 --> 00:23:56,073 Maybe when I get out... 360 00:23:56,615 --> 00:23:58,207 in eight to ten months... 361 00:23:59,985 --> 00:24:01,475 Eight to ten months? 362 00:24:02,254 --> 00:24:04,779 My doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do. 363 00:24:06,558 --> 00:24:09,584 To be honest with you, I'm comfortable here. I kind of like it. 364 00:24:09,661 --> 00:24:14,394 I like that everybody's craziness is out in the open. 365 00:24:20,706 --> 00:24:24,005 - I loved seeing you. - I loved seeing you again. 366 00:24:26,311 --> 00:24:27,744 But I understand. 367 00:24:28,313 --> 00:24:31,441 We're just in very different places right now. 368 00:24:32,918 --> 00:24:36,877 Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had. 369 00:24:39,424 --> 00:24:44,191 And now, the Queen and Queen of our prom... 370 00:24:44,296 --> 00:24:48,164 Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch. 371 00:24:53,539 --> 00:24:56,975 - Oh, my God! I love this song. - Me, too. 372 00:24:58,310 --> 00:24:59,937 Thank you very much. 373 00:25:13,192 --> 00:25:17,561 This is my best prom ever. Thank you for coming. 374 00:25:17,629 --> 00:25:20,962 Believe me, I'm glad to be back with the normal people. 375 00:25:22,201 --> 00:25:24,396 You know the craziest thing of all? 376 00:25:24,703 --> 00:25:28,764 I somehow thought that after everything I've been through... 377 00:25:29,141 --> 00:25:32,269 I might end up with my high-school boyfriend. 378 00:25:34,179 --> 00:25:36,841 I don't think my story's going to get tied up like that. 379 00:25:36,915 --> 00:25:40,180 - Your boyfriend might get tied up. - And taken away. 380 00:25:40,452 --> 00:25:43,717 Okay, no more jokes. I might be dating him in eight to ten months. 381 00:25:47,392 --> 00:25:48,586 May I cut in? 382 00:25:49,394 --> 00:25:52,124 No, thank you. I already have an escort. 383 00:25:55,968 --> 00:25:58,766 Honey, I didn't tell you because it's part of my past. 384 00:25:59,037 --> 00:26:00,766 It's not who I am anymore. 385 00:26:01,406 --> 00:26:05,274 I was really messed up back then, but I've got it together now. 386 00:26:06,612 --> 00:26:09,911 And it's prom night. We have to have a dance. 387 00:26:13,986 --> 00:26:16,113 Why don't I get some punch? 388 00:26:24,129 --> 00:26:25,756 Just tell me one thing. 389 00:26:26,064 --> 00:26:31,024 Did you ever, ever sleep with that little bitchy pine nut, Anthony? 390 00:26:31,403 --> 00:26:32,836 No. God, no. 391 00:26:58,430 --> 00:27:02,196 So, maybe it won't look the way you thought it would look in high school. 392 00:27:02,301 --> 00:27:05,634 But it's good to remember love is possible. 393 00:27:07,839 --> 00:27:11,536 Anything is possible. This is New York. 394 00:27:40,000 --> 00:28:40,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew