0
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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew

1
00:00:46,693 --> 00:00:51,289
In every relationship, there comes a time
when you take that next important step.

2
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:55,162
- Do I look all right?
- Don't worry, they'll love you.

3
00:00:55,235 --> 00:00:59,467
- I just want to make the right impression.
- They'll love you because I love you.

4
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:00,966
Here we are.

5
00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:04,067
For some couples,
that step is meeting the parents.

6
00:01:04,544 --> 00:01:06,876
For me, it's meeting the Prada.

7
00:01:06,947 --> 00:01:08,608
Holy shit.

8
00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:12,743
You know, on my planet,
the clothing stores have clothes.

9
00:01:14,721 --> 00:01:15,983
Ladies.

10
00:01:17,124 --> 00:01:18,716
So how often do you shop here?

11
00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:21,022
- Carrie.
- Hi.

12
00:01:21,094 --> 00:01:22,789
I'm gonna guess more than once.

13
00:01:22,996 --> 00:01:25,965
If all my customers were this beautiful, yes?

14
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:30,895
- This is my boyfriend, Jack Berger.
- How are you?

15
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:34,199
Okay, two. Bonus round. I'm down with that.

16
00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:35,932
- He's funny, yes?
- Yes.

17
00:01:36,009 --> 00:01:38,477
And this is his first time at Prada.

18
00:01:38,545 --> 00:01:42,606
- We have some amazing new things for men.
- I'm here for my amazing new girlfriend.

19
00:01:42,682 --> 00:01:46,118
Can I get you something to drink?
Cappuccino, bottled water, champagne?

20
00:01:46,186 --> 00:01:47,847
- Champagne?
- Yes.

21
00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:50,820
Some couples spend
Saturday afternoon shopping.

22
00:01:50,891 --> 00:01:52,256
Look, everybody, it's Carrie.

23
00:01:52,325 --> 00:01:54,953
Other couples spend it sexing.

24
00:01:56,563 --> 00:01:59,054
- Aren't you gonna shower?
- Nope.

25
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,395
I want to smell you on me all night.

26
00:02:02,969 --> 00:02:04,561
Dirty boy.

27
00:02:05,405 --> 00:02:09,603
So how's Friday at 9:00?

28
00:02:09,776 --> 00:02:11,334
I can't do Friday.

29
00:02:11,411 --> 00:02:13,709
But we always do Friday, it's T.G.I. Fuckday.

30
00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:16,877
- My play starts previews this week.
- Play?

31
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,979
I was thinking you could come check it out.

32
00:02:23,723 --> 00:02:25,384
It's a kick-ass play.

33
00:02:25,459 --> 00:02:28,895
"Kick-ass play."
Three words I hope never to hear again.

34
00:02:28,962 --> 00:02:32,125
- Come on.
- It's in Brooklyn. I don't do borough.

35
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,793
Don't give me that look.

36
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:39,564
I'm the one who should be hurt.
You always spend Fridays in me.

37
00:02:39,739 --> 00:02:41,229
Okay, here's the deal.

38
00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:44,873
You come see me in Brooklyn...

39
00:02:45,679 --> 00:02:48,011
and afterwards, I'll make sure you come...

40
00:02:48,081 --> 00:02:52,074
and come and come in the bedroom.

41
00:02:59,493 --> 00:03:01,757
- What do you think?
- Two things.

42
00:03:01,828 --> 00:03:04,388
One, you look damn fine.

43
00:03:04,731 --> 00:03:07,222
Two, I'm a little hammered.

44
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,999
Here, for you. Try.

45
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:12,537
Now, that is fabulous.

46
00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:15,404
You know, I never say fabulous,
but if I did, I would.

47
00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:18,103
That's what a real shirt looks like.

48
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:23,109
- But you will wear forever.
- Yeah, I'd have to.

49
00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:26,482
Does it also somehow open
into a small studio apartment?

50
00:03:26,553 --> 00:03:27,679
Carrie, tell him.

51
00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:31,087
My girlfriend used to talk me into things,
and I'm a better man for it.

52
00:03:31,157 --> 00:03:34,388
This is our first shopping trip together.
I want to take it slow.

53
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:36,429
So how is Claudia?

54
00:03:36,563 --> 00:03:37,621
We broke up.

55
00:03:38,164 --> 00:03:39,495
Yes, is tragic.

56
00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:42,399
Only thing more tragic is Jack Berger
not having Prada.

57
00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:45,734
What can I say, except thanks for the hooch.

58
00:03:45,906 --> 00:03:50,275
Carrie, do you know any fantastic
gorgeous single women like yourself...

59
00:03:50,343 --> 00:03:52,937
I could go out with?

60
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:55,912
Cheer up, sweetie.

61
00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:58,416
I may have found you
the impossible dreamboat.

62
00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:00,749
Straight, single, and works for Prada.

63
00:04:01,288 --> 00:04:04,018
- Is he Jewish?
- What?

64
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:07,283
Did you think I would throw away
all my new religious beliefs...

65
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,920
just because Harry
and I are no longer together?

66
00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:12,988
- Yeah.
- I am not a fair-weather Jew.

67
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,860
Besides, I can't even think
about dating again.

68
00:04:15,936 --> 00:04:17,631
I'm way too sad about losing Harry.

69
00:04:17,704 --> 00:04:21,140
Now, Charlotte, honey.
You will start dating eventually...

70
00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:23,937
and by then
this Prada item may be off the rack.

71
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,706
If she's not ready to move on,
she's not ready to move on.

72
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:29,374
People can't move on before they're ready.

73
00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:31,116
I'm just saying.

74
00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:34,846
I can't even imagine dating again.
I mean, what would I say about myself?

75
00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:36,855
"I was married and then I got divorced...

76
00:04:36,923 --> 00:04:40,552
"then I fell in love with my divorce lawyer
and we were gonna get married...

77
00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:43,357
"but then I blew it and we split up, too."

78
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:45,822
It's depressing.

79
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,760
Now you went and told the truth.

80
00:04:51,438 --> 00:04:53,429
What are we gonna do about it?

81
00:04:53,506 --> 00:04:56,566
I say we get all dressed up
and go out for drinks Friday night.

82
00:04:56,643 --> 00:04:58,201
I'll wear my new Prada.

83
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:00,576
- I'm in.
- Excellent.

84
00:05:00,947 --> 00:05:03,279
Shit, motherfucker fuck shit.

85
00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:05,648
There's a
"Shit, motherfucker fuck shit" situation?

86
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:08,745
- I have to go to the theatre.
- They finally made that mandatory?

87
00:05:08,822 --> 00:05:11,017
A new play in Brooklyn. Jerry's in it.

88
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,889
- So it's children's theatre?
- I think that's sweet.

89
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:18,021
It's not sweet, it's pathetic
how far a gal will go for a good fuck.

90
00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:27,031
And speaking of the theatre, that night...

91
00:05:27,307 --> 00:05:30,208
Miranda continued performing
her one-woman show...

92
00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,335
I'm Not In Love With Steve.

93
00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:37,272
How was life on the playground?

94
00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:39,678
The little bratty girl had a birthday.

95
00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:42,053
Bratty had a birthday?

96
00:05:42,122 --> 00:05:43,487
Yep, here.

97
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:47,282
I scammed you a cupcake. It's chocolate.
I had to fight for it.

98
00:05:47,527 --> 00:05:50,325
For me? Thanks.

99
00:05:50,997 --> 00:05:55,400
I'm getting a gut from all the cupcake action
on that playground.

100
00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:58,027
You don't have a gut.

101
00:06:01,341 --> 00:06:05,175
Okay, so I gotta run.
I wanna get home to see the Knicks game.

102
00:06:05,512 --> 00:06:07,480
Why don't you watch it here?

103
00:06:08,481 --> 00:06:13,043
I pay for ESPN and all,
and I've got all this extra food and all.

104
00:06:13,119 --> 00:06:15,849
Unless you have plans with someone,
in which case...

105
00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:17,913
Debbie's got shit to do.

106
00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:20,885
I wouldn't be crowding you?

107
00:06:22,696 --> 00:06:25,756
For the guy who scammed me
the chocolate cupcake.

108
00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:28,058
Cool.

109
00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:40,976
The Knicks overtime
turned into Steve's overnighter.

110
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:11,037
All right, now I have to call somebody.
You have a Prada abuse problem.

111
00:07:11,111 --> 00:07:14,478
I do, do I? Here.

112
00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:15,739
For you.

113
00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:18,784
It's the "I never say fabulous"
fabulous shirt.

114
00:07:21,421 --> 00:07:24,584
Carrie, thanks, but you can't afford this.

115
00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:26,921
You can't afford
that stuff you bought yourself.

116
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:29,689
Last week I couldn't, but voilą.

117
00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:33,790
It's a check from our publishers.
They sold my book in Paris.

118
00:07:33,867 --> 00:07:35,892
It's an advance from France.

119
00:07:36,202 --> 00:07:37,601
That's quite an advance.

120
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:41,629
I know, I can't believe it.
Half off at home, big deal in France.

121
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,335
I'm the literary Jerry Lewis.

122
00:07:43,409 --> 00:07:47,368
So, you see, you have to have
the "I never say fabulous" fabulous shirt...

123
00:07:47,447 --> 00:07:50,007
because you are the most fabulous...

124
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:53,642
of all the fabulous men
who never say "fabulous."

125
00:07:56,055 --> 00:07:58,717
Okay, thank you.

126
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:01,589
I'm starving. What looks good?

127
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:06,932
The next day I met Miranda
and little lord Brady...

128
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,467
for an early evening walk.

129
00:08:08,535 --> 00:08:11,902
If I get tired in about a block,
can you push me around in that?

130
00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:13,063
Sure.

131
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:16,137
Steve slept over the other night.

132
00:08:17,677 --> 00:08:18,871
On the couch.

133
00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:21,413
We were watching the Knicks game
and it got late.

134
00:08:21,481 --> 00:08:23,506
Someone's gonna get hurt.

135
00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:28,513
Carrie, I can't help it.
It was the most fun I've had in a long time.

136
00:08:28,588 --> 00:08:32,547
- I like being around him.
- Then tell him that, I beg of you.

137
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,560
- He has a girlfriend, did you forget?
- No, did you?

138
00:08:35,628 --> 00:08:38,893
- No.
- He probably already knows how you feel.

139
00:08:39,199 --> 00:08:41,531
No way, I'm acting my ass off.

140
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:44,536
There is no Academy Award for that,
just so you know.

141
00:08:44,604 --> 00:08:48,233
My God, Courtney. Hi.

142
00:08:48,441 --> 00:08:52,002
- Carrie Bradshaw, the toast of Europe.
- Hardly.

143
00:08:52,111 --> 00:08:54,477
Miranda, this is Courtney, my publisher.

144
00:08:54,547 --> 00:08:58,108
Ex-publisher. I just got the boot.
Hence the gin.

145
00:08:58,184 --> 00:09:00,880
I'm gonna go home
and make myself a welfare martini.

146
00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:02,512
Wait. Why?

147
00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:06,523
"Disappointing sales in my sector."

148
00:09:06,593 --> 00:09:08,823
- I'm sorry.
- "Fuck them."

149
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:11,363
If it weren't for the European interest
in your book...

150
00:09:11,431 --> 00:09:15,162
I'd have gotten the boot a week ago
when they started dropping all my authors.

151
00:09:15,235 --> 00:09:18,500
How's Berger handling it?
He's so frigging talented. I can't stand it.

152
00:09:18,571 --> 00:09:20,869
They should've never dropped
his second book option.

153
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:24,432
Shortsighted A-holes.
You tell him to get the phone book out...

154
00:09:24,510 --> 00:09:27,274
and give me a call
if he needs a drinking buddy.

155
00:09:27,347 --> 00:09:29,372
Cute kid. See you.

156
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:33,917
Berger never said anything to me.

157
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:36,654
My God.

158
00:09:36,789 --> 00:09:41,692
And I'm running around buying him shirts
and shoving my big check in his face.

159
00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:44,924
- You didn't know.
- God, I feel awful.

160
00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:47,694
Why did I have to parade in
and brag about that check?

161
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:50,930
Because you're proud of it.
And you earned it.

162
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:54,303
- It's okay to be proud of it.
- This is not good.

163
00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,373
So what now? Should I tell him I know?

164
00:09:58,478 --> 00:10:01,140
Maybe you should wait till he brings it up.

165
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:05,178
Move over, Brady, I'm getting tired.

166
00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:07,584
And in Central Park...

167
00:10:07,654 --> 00:10:09,121
Not him. Gay.

168
00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:12,119
Gay and doesn't know it.

169
00:10:12,191 --> 00:10:15,888
Here. Pale with no arms,
straight, and Jewish.

170
00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:18,087
Please, Harry and I just broke up.

171
00:10:18,164 --> 00:10:20,428
Char, you loved Harry, I loved Harry.

172
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,958
We all loved Harry.
But it's been two weeks. Next.

173
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:25,800
No next. It doesn't work like that.

174
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:30,036
It do, and it better, because you are knock,
knock, knocking on sad-gal door.

175
00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:32,168
And nobody loves a sad gal.

176
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,706
You don't understand what this feels like.

177
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:36,548
You've never...

178
00:10:36,849 --> 00:10:39,545
- Never mind.
- What? I've never what?

179
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:42,745
Lost the love of my life? Wrong.

180
00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:46,825
Paolo. Brazilian. Broke my heart.

181
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,651
- I've never gotten over him.
- Anthony.

182
00:10:49,929 --> 00:10:53,296
Had an ass
like two scoops of butter pecan ice cream.

183
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,427
Him. I could see you with him.

184
00:10:55,702 --> 00:10:58,500
- I'm not interested.
- You better get interested...

185
00:10:58,571 --> 00:11:00,971
or you're gonna end up all alone
and with no mans.

186
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,564
Maybe I am.

187
00:11:02,675 --> 00:11:05,235
Would that be the worst thing
that could happen?

188
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,378
Nice day to get laid.

189
00:11:17,457 --> 00:11:18,651
The corn.

190
00:11:19,158 --> 00:11:20,489
Harvested.

191
00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:22,521
The hay.

192
00:11:23,596 --> 00:11:24,927
Harvested.

193
00:11:26,599 --> 00:11:27,861
My youth?

194
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:56,586
Samantha wondered
if perhaps she'd judged the arts too quickly.

195
00:12:00,199 --> 00:12:01,791
So was it worth the trip?

196
00:12:01,868 --> 00:12:05,429
I'm not usually a fan of the theater,
but get your cock out.

197
00:12:09,976 --> 00:12:13,969
- Did you like the play?
- I felt like I was hit with a tranquilizer dart.

198
00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:17,175
- Did you at least like my monologue?
- What monologue?

199
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,480
After you dropped trou,
all I could think was...

200
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:21,417
I got to get me some of that.

201
00:12:22,889 --> 00:12:24,015
This.

202
00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,923
I hope the critics like it more than you.

203
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:30,292
I quit my restaurant job today.

204
00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:33,591
They wouldn't let me off to do the play.

205
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,102
- So fuck them. Maybe it'll be a big hit.
- How?

206
00:12:37,203 --> 00:12:39,433
The promotion of this thing
is all out of whack.

207
00:12:39,505 --> 00:12:41,837
You have this pathetic, sad little flyer...

208
00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:45,435
and nowhere on it does it say
the most important thing about the play.

209
00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:49,003
- What's that?
- Full frontal, you, naked.

210
00:12:49,082 --> 00:12:51,573
Now, that's a reason to go to the theater.

211
00:12:51,984 --> 00:12:54,248
- Who's doing the P.R.?
- No one.

212
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,413
They don't have money
for that kind of thing.

213
00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,650
We're getting paid, like, $30.

214
00:13:00,226 --> 00:13:02,694
Is this really what you want to do
with your life?

215
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:06,892
Stand in an empty theater
talking some harvest-to-harvest bullshit?

216
00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:10,295
Yeah. I love it. I'm an actor.

217
00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:13,104
Then I'm gonna help you.

218
00:13:15,842 --> 00:13:17,742
You're gonna help me be an actor?

219
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:20,005
No, I'm gonna help you be a star.

220
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:24,716
Look, if I have to go see you act,
there better be a red carpet involved.

221
00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:27,547
I don't need help.
All I gotta do is work on my craft.

222
00:13:28,087 --> 00:13:31,818
All you have to do is work on your abs.

223
00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:34,959
But we have to do something
about your name.

224
00:13:35,027 --> 00:13:36,858
Jerry Jerrod. Awful.

225
00:13:36,929 --> 00:13:39,830
- Stop talking.
- Whatever you say.

226
00:13:39,999 --> 00:13:43,162
Matt? Toby?

227
00:13:43,769 --> 00:13:44,861
Ryan.

228
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,609
Is something wrong?

229
00:13:56,449 --> 00:14:00,010
No, I'm just preoccupied.

230
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:06,353
Berger, it's okay. I know.

231
00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,158
About the book option.

232
00:14:13,699 --> 00:14:16,327
I bumped into Courtney a few days ago.

233
00:14:16,469 --> 00:14:19,438
- Why didn't you say anything sooner?
- Because I didn't know if...

234
00:14:19,505 --> 00:14:21,803
- Does anyone else know?
- Like who?

235
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:23,435
Any of your friends?

236
00:14:23,509 --> 00:14:25,204
Miranda was with me, but she...

237
00:14:25,278 --> 00:14:28,111
- I don't want her to know.
- She's fine, it's no big deal.

238
00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:29,580
It is to me.

239
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:32,741
No, I meant to her.

240
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,880
Right.

241
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:40,089
I'm sorry.

242
00:14:41,928 --> 00:14:43,555
What do you have to be sorry about?

243
00:14:43,629 --> 00:14:46,462
The shirt and the check. I feel awful.
I would never...

244
00:14:46,532 --> 00:14:48,966
This has nothing to do with that.

245
00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:52,036
I think that check is great.

246
00:14:52,371 --> 00:14:55,135
Don't feel bad about that. You earned that.

247
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:56,675
Good for you.

248
00:14:58,211 --> 00:14:59,838
I'm proud of you.

249
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,817
Berger, do you want me
to talk to my new editor?

250
00:15:06,886 --> 00:15:09,013
Jesus Christ. No, thank you.

251
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:12,147
It's just a dropped option.

252
00:15:13,292 --> 00:15:14,816
I'll be fine.

253
00:15:17,163 --> 00:15:18,790
Yes, you will be.

254
00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:21,093
Because you're great.

255
00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:27,567
He grunted. End of discussion.

256
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,575
- I shouldn't have said anything.
- Look, when men are failing...

257
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:33,703
- Berger is not failing.
- Fine, when men are flailing...

258
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:36,304
Okay, yes, there's a bit of a flail.

259
00:15:36,382 --> 00:15:39,146
...they need strong women
to charge in there and help.

260
00:15:39,218 --> 00:15:41,049
Like I did with Smith Jerrod.

261
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,816
- Who?
- Jerry. I changed his name.

262
00:15:43,956 --> 00:15:46,049
I'm helping him with his career...

263
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:49,788
and Smith is the perfect name
for the next big thing.

264
00:15:53,299 --> 00:15:56,564
"Smith Jerrod, the next it boy, is so it...

265
00:15:56,636 --> 00:16:00,504
"that the glitterati are migrating to Brooklyn
to see him act."

266
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,101
Are the glitterati migrating to Brooklyn?

267
00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:06,736
Yes, you are.
I got tickets for us all opening night.

268
00:16:06,812 --> 00:16:09,372
Invite everyone fabulous you know,
and dress up.

269
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,643
I've got a whole red-carpet thing happening.

270
00:16:11,717 --> 00:16:13,378
Why are you doing all this?

271
00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,483
He's 28 and making $30 a week.

272
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:20,218
The poor guy was dying.
I could help, so I did.

273
00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:22,624
And he isn't threatened
by you offering to help?

274
00:16:22,695 --> 00:16:25,357
No, he's a whole different generation.

275
00:16:25,431 --> 00:16:29,197
Younger guys aren't threatened
by strong women having power.

276
00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,894
Is it a whole generation or just him?

277
00:16:34,273 --> 00:16:38,141
As women's roles evolve and change,
we assume that men's do as well.

278
00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,474
There are hundreds upon hundreds
of articles...

279
00:16:40,546 --> 00:16:42,377
written about the new man.

280
00:16:42,448 --> 00:16:44,575
But does this new man really exist?

281
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,242
Perhaps he's just the old man...

282
00:16:46,319 --> 00:16:49,447
renamed and repackaged
by some clever P.R. Woman.

283
00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:52,690
Are the men of today less threatened
by a woman's power...

284
00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,454
or are they just acting?

285
00:17:09,075 --> 00:17:10,303
Hang on.

286
00:17:10,876 --> 00:17:12,275
You're early.

287
00:17:12,478 --> 00:17:13,945
- Am I?
- Yeah.

288
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:16,037
- You look nice.
- Do I?

289
00:17:20,953 --> 00:17:24,150
Looks like it's someone else's turn
to make cupcakes.

290
00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:25,315
That is so cute.

291
00:17:25,391 --> 00:17:28,155
I never did it before,
but it can't be that hard, right?

292
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:30,991
- Do I look like the baking type?
- Right.

293
00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:37,094
"Mix batter in a large bowl."

294
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,829
Okay, here's a bowl.

295
00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:42,838
Look at me, I'm baking.

296
00:17:42,908 --> 00:17:44,899
Miranda, you don't have to do that.

297
00:17:44,977 --> 00:17:49,107
Someone needs to help you,
and Brady really has no motor skills.

298
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:52,082
One condition: I get to lick the bowl.

299
00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:55,583
Deal. I have the milk and eggs right here.

300
00:17:55,821 --> 00:17:59,086
You really are gonna score points
on the playground this week.

301
00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:03,219
It's not for the playground.
They're birthday cupcakes for Debbie.

302
00:18:04,463 --> 00:18:05,555
Fun.

303
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:08,657
We're having a party,
and she said she didn't want a cake...

304
00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:11,703
but she didn't say anything about cupcakes.

305
00:18:12,471 --> 00:18:15,634
So how many cupcakes are we making?

306
00:18:16,442 --> 00:18:21,402
H-A-P-P-Y-B-l-R-T-H-D-A-Y-D-E-B-B-l-E.

307
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:25,579
- 20.
- 20. Great.

308
00:18:30,623 --> 00:18:32,523
20 little Debbie cakes later...

309
00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:36,353
- That's bad, right?
- Here, let me do it.

310
00:18:36,962 --> 00:18:39,931
Shit. It's 6:30.

311
00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:41,999
I gotta go to work.

312
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:45,093
Okay, let's just... I'll finish those later.

313
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:48,868
Just go. I'll do it.
You can't do letters anyway.

314
00:18:48,941 --> 00:18:50,465
- Really, you sure?
- Go.

315
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:58,780
Thanks. Miranda, you're the best.

316
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:19,467
- Jello.
- I'm not going, I'm not up for it.

317
00:19:19,772 --> 00:19:22,434
If I'm going to the theater,
you're going to the theater.

318
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:24,976
- I can't.
- Are you all right? What's wrong?

319
00:19:26,512 --> 00:19:29,208
I'm at Steve's, and he had to go to work...

320
00:19:29,281 --> 00:19:32,273
and I got stuck helping him
make 20 cupcakes...

321
00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:34,444
for his girlfriend's birthday.

322
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,546
- Why would he ask you do that?
- He didn't.

323
00:19:37,857 --> 00:19:42,317
I thought they were for the playground,
and then it was too late to back out.

324
00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:46,258
It's my own fault.
What did I think would happen?

325
00:19:46,899 --> 00:19:50,096
He would see how great I make cupcakes
and be back in love with me?

326
00:19:50,569 --> 00:19:53,265
Damn it! I fucked up Debbie's "B."

327
00:19:53,439 --> 00:19:55,634
- Put down the icing.
- I have to finish.

328
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:59,166
Debbie cannot have your tears. No way.

329
00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:02,681
If I don't finish,
Steve will know something's up.

330
00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:05,907
Miranda, you can't make those cupcakes
and live with yourself.

331
00:20:05,985 --> 00:20:08,215
Move away from the icing.

332
00:20:08,387 --> 00:20:11,083
- What'll I tell Steve?
- Blame the baby.

333
00:20:11,357 --> 00:20:13,587
That's what they're there for.

334
00:20:16,362 --> 00:20:18,353
- I put it down.
- Good girl.

335
00:20:19,131 --> 00:20:22,567
God, that's Berger in a cab.
I'm not dressed yet. Listen to me.

336
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:26,594
You get out of there,
you go home, and I'll call you later, okay?

337
00:20:26,939 --> 00:20:29,931
- Okay. I love you. Bye-bye.
- Me too. Bye.

338
00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:39,712
Surprise.

339
00:20:42,788 --> 00:20:44,085
That's not a cab.

340
00:20:44,857 --> 00:20:46,620
No, this'll be much more fun.

341
00:20:46,692 --> 00:20:49,422
I haven't had her out on the open road
for a long time.

342
00:20:50,129 --> 00:20:53,155
I'm not really dressed very biker chick.

343
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,928
- Prada and all.
- It'll be fine, come on.

344
00:20:57,202 --> 00:20:59,864
Not to be a total girl about it...

345
00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:02,832
but I really can't have the helmet hair...

346
00:21:03,108 --> 00:21:05,372
when there's a red carpet situation.

347
00:21:05,444 --> 00:21:08,743
We haven't been out on this thing
the whole time we've been dating.

348
00:21:08,814 --> 00:21:10,577
I really want to take the bike tonight.

349
00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:14,312
Think about how much fun it's gonna be
going over the Brooklyn Bridge.

350
00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:16,877
Come on, Carrie. For me?

351
00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:23,725
All right, just don't go fast.

352
00:21:24,163 --> 00:21:25,596
Good hat, huh?

353
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:31,397
There is a little-known relationship law.

354
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:35,201
When your man is down and out,
you have to get up and on.

355
00:22:02,134 --> 00:22:04,466
I told you not to go fast.

356
00:22:05,771 --> 00:22:07,534
It wasn't that fast.

357
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:10,573
It just feels fast because you're on the bike.

358
00:22:10,643 --> 00:22:12,167
Bullshit.

359
00:22:12,378 --> 00:22:15,176
Couldn't you feel my hands
digging into you?

360
00:22:15,247 --> 00:22:18,739
- Yeah, I thought you were excited.
- I was terrified.

361
00:22:18,817 --> 00:22:21,342
All right, calm down, you're safe.

362
00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,950
I am not gonna die on a bridge...

363
00:22:24,023 --> 00:22:27,015
so that you can feel like some big man
on a bike.

364
00:22:27,092 --> 00:22:30,926
- What the fuck does that mean?
- You know exactly what it means.

365
00:22:31,063 --> 00:22:33,896
And I am sorry,
but I'm not sorry I made that money.

366
00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:36,935
I worked really hard for it,
and I never thought you would be...

367
00:22:37,002 --> 00:22:39,630
the type of guy
that would have a problem with that.

368
00:22:39,705 --> 00:22:42,503
Neither did I. But I guess I do, don't I?

369
00:22:55,954 --> 00:22:57,945
I'm sorry about the bike.

370
00:22:59,491 --> 00:23:01,482
Are you gonna look at me?

371
00:23:07,366 --> 00:23:11,302
I didn't think I was going that fast.
I'm sorry, I'll never do it again.

372
00:23:11,370 --> 00:23:13,770
Well, I'll never get on that bike again.

373
00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:17,541
Look, I don't want to be this guy.

374
00:23:17,876 --> 00:23:20,401
I don't want to be the guy threatened
by your success.

375
00:23:20,479 --> 00:23:23,448
I swear to God, I will do anything,
I'll do whatever it takes.

376
00:23:23,649 --> 00:23:25,617
I don't want to be this guy.

377
00:23:29,054 --> 00:23:31,818
I think you are magnificent.

378
00:23:33,992 --> 00:23:35,084
I do.

379
00:24:01,086 --> 00:24:03,020
That was for the helmet.

380
00:24:04,356 --> 00:24:06,790
Come on, let's get this over with.

381
00:24:27,212 --> 00:24:29,806
Carrie, over here. Right here, Carrie.

382
00:24:31,650 --> 00:24:32,674
They know you?

383
00:24:32,751 --> 00:24:34,742
I used to be a party girl.

384
00:24:37,656 --> 00:24:39,453
Can we get one alone?

385
00:24:42,861 --> 00:24:47,298
- Yeah, sure.
- No, we're together.

386
00:24:47,566 --> 00:24:50,831
- What's his name?
- Jack Berger. He's a writer, too.

387
00:24:51,303 --> 00:24:54,067
Lovely, thanks a lot. Cheers.

388
00:25:02,381 --> 00:25:05,373
They just do that
so that they can get it right for the papers.

389
00:25:05,450 --> 00:25:07,213
This just isn't my night.

390
00:25:08,287 --> 00:25:10,221
Look, I'm really not up to going in.

391
00:25:10,289 --> 00:25:14,316
I'll just wreck it for everybody.
Would it be okay if I took off?

392
00:25:15,327 --> 00:25:17,989
You can get home with the girls, right?

393
00:25:19,464 --> 00:25:20,453
You okay?

394
00:25:35,414 --> 00:25:37,041
"Hello, gorgeous."

395
00:25:38,851 --> 00:25:41,581
That is the worst Barbra Streisand
I have ever heard.

396
00:25:41,653 --> 00:25:43,951
When in Brooklyn, do as the Brooklyns do.

397
00:25:44,022 --> 00:25:47,753
Speaking of the worst,
I have, like, the worst seat I've ever had.

398
00:25:47,826 --> 00:25:51,159
Not anymore you don't.
You're sitting with me.

399
00:25:51,663 --> 00:25:53,790
And speaking of "one alone"...

400
00:25:53,899 --> 00:25:57,096
Charlotte sat in the theater
surrounded by couples...

401
00:25:57,169 --> 00:25:59,467
and in one, clear, crystallized moment...

402
00:25:59,538 --> 00:26:02,769
she felt what her life would be like
with no mans.

403
00:26:06,511 --> 00:26:07,876
Miranda's not coming.

404
00:26:07,946 --> 00:26:11,575
So my friend Tony from Prada
is sitting next to you.

405
00:26:13,585 --> 00:26:15,416
Hello.

406
00:26:16,788 --> 00:26:21,020
After all, what single girl in New York
would turn down a gift from Prada?

407
00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:26,791
All of Manhattan is here.

408
00:26:27,733 --> 00:26:29,758
Who's watching the Island?

409
00:26:34,706 --> 00:26:36,105
My youth?

410
00:26:57,829 --> 00:26:59,057
The rain came down.

411
00:26:59,798 --> 00:27:01,732
Hard, then soft.

412
00:27:03,435 --> 00:27:05,062
It hit the grass.

413
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:07,800
Green, then wet.

414
00:27:09,675 --> 00:27:12,542
Wet, so wet.

415
00:27:14,346 --> 00:27:16,211
It reminded me of you.

416
00:27:17,349 --> 00:27:19,749
You always smelled like the rain.

417
00:27:21,586 --> 00:27:23,247
A stud is born.

418
00:27:35,667 --> 00:27:40,001
That night Smith Jerrod's Full Moon
became a sensation.

419
00:27:46,545 --> 00:27:49,537
- Full frontal, and he can act.
- Who knew?

420
00:27:50,582 --> 00:27:52,982
- Where's Berger?
- He left.

421
00:27:53,051 --> 00:27:55,178
He's coming down with a cold.

422
00:27:55,487 --> 00:27:58,547
- I'll see you later.
- Okay. Good night.

423
00:28:02,728 --> 00:28:04,696
- You want to come out with me?
- Sure.

424
00:28:05,197 --> 00:28:07,791
Maybe we were all acting, all the time.

425
00:28:07,866 --> 00:28:12,200
And tonight I was playing the part
of the woman in the great relationship...

426
00:28:12,270 --> 00:28:15,296
whose boyfriend
was coming down with a cold.

427
00:28:21,000 --> 00:29:06,000
Ripped by RavyDavy
part of the [RL] Crew