0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:46,526 --> 00:00:48,824 When you live in the city that never sleeps... 2 00:00:48,895 --> 00:00:51,386 it comes as a bit of a shock when somehow... 3 00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:53,490 you manage to oversleep. 4 00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:58,462 Taxi! 5 00:01:07,647 --> 00:01:08,978 Excuse me. 6 00:01:17,424 --> 00:01:18,584 Taxi! 7 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:21,893 Thank you. 8 00:01:28,402 --> 00:01:29,630 Shit! 9 00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:43,844 Sir, I have to be downtown in 30 minutes. 10 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:52,652 Thank you. 11 00:01:53,627 --> 00:01:55,254 Keep the change. 12 00:01:55,495 --> 00:01:56,928 I thought that you need a lift. 13 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:19,550 Excuse me. Hi. 14 00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:21,519 - Which way to the stock exchange? - There. 15 00:02:21,588 --> 00:02:22,816 Thank you. 16 00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,115 Excuse me. 17 00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:35,333 - Step forward. - Okay. 18 00:02:35,535 --> 00:02:36,968 Stop. Give him the bag. 19 00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:38,902 Here, can you hold that? 20 00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:41,634 Let's go. Stop. Arms. 21 00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,733 I'm sorry. 22 00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:50,880 Sir, can you hurry? I'm here to ring the bell. 23 00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:52,248 - Go ahead. - Okay, thank you. 24 00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:53,377 Step forward. 25 00:03:02,629 --> 00:03:05,860 All right, you have to put this on. And we gotta hurry up. 26 00:03:20,313 --> 00:03:23,942 Today, one of New York's favorite newspapers... 27 00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:26,451 the New York Star is going public. 28 00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:30,955 And here to open trading is one of its favorite columnists... 29 00:03:31,024 --> 00:03:32,582 Carrie Bradshaw. 30 00:03:35,595 --> 00:03:37,028 Now you can press it. 31 00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,630 The day after the stock market... 32 00:03:44,704 --> 00:03:47,673 I met the ladies for lunch in the fashionable Meat Market. 33 00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:51,006 It was so exciting. It almost made me want to invest in something. 34 00:03:51,077 --> 00:03:52,635 I love the stock market. 35 00:03:52,712 --> 00:03:56,170 A room full of screaming, sweating men all trying to get it up. 36 00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:58,843 I don't invest anymore. It's too volatile. 37 00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:01,443 Exactly. I like my money right where I can see it. 38 00:04:01,521 --> 00:04:02,749 Hanging in my closet. 39 00:04:02,822 --> 00:04:06,417 Actually, your stock is up. I bought shares of your newspaper yesterday. 40 00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:09,587 Really? Thank you, sweetie. Was it expensive? 41 00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,927 - No, you're cheap. - I never... 42 00:04:12,933 --> 00:04:14,924 - Ladies. - Thank you. 43 00:04:16,069 --> 00:04:18,401 $20 for a hamburger? That's reasonable. 44 00:04:18,471 --> 00:04:20,769 Pathetic. When I moved to this neighborhood... 45 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,469 the only thing that cost $20 was a hand job from a tranny. 46 00:04:24,744 --> 00:04:28,043 I'm serious. It's all gotten so sanitary. 47 00:04:28,281 --> 00:04:31,648 I mean no smoking in bars. What's next? No fucking in bars? 48 00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:34,346 Well, first there would have to be a no-fucking section. 49 00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:37,948 I mean, just look at this street. Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen. 50 00:04:38,024 --> 00:04:41,187 The only designer name that belongs in the Meatpacking District... 51 00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:44,162 - is Oscar Mayer. - I never liked his clothes. 52 00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:46,997 - Too fatty. - But that's what's great about New York. 53 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:49,365 There's always a new neighborhood or restaurant... 54 00:04:49,436 --> 00:04:50,767 A new man. 55 00:04:51,304 --> 00:04:55,934 That's right. Friday night, my first official date with Jack Berger. 56 00:04:56,009 --> 00:04:58,443 That is so exciting. Isn't that exciting? 57 00:04:58,511 --> 00:05:02,038 Sure. It's all fun and games till someone has a child. 58 00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:04,379 So, what do you two have planned? 59 00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:08,410 He hasn't said yet. So many outfits need to be scouted. 60 00:05:08,488 --> 00:05:10,513 You kids today and your dating. 61 00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:14,082 I know. I feel like a girl of 35 again. 62 00:05:17,631 --> 00:05:18,791 I really like him. 63 00:05:18,865 --> 00:05:21,425 Then you better find out his bottom line right up front. 64 00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:25,096 If Harry had told me he could only be serious about me if I were Jewish... 65 00:05:25,171 --> 00:05:26,832 I doubt I'd be in my situation. 66 00:05:26,906 --> 00:05:30,205 I don't get it. What kind of man passes up pussy for Purim? 67 00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:33,706 Soup and a tenderloin of pork. 68 00:05:36,049 --> 00:05:37,676 What's with the face? 69 00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:40,652 - I didn't make a face. - I said pork, you went... 70 00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:44,022 It's just I'm confused. 71 00:05:44,658 --> 00:05:47,650 You can order pork, but you can't get serious about our future... 72 00:05:47,727 --> 00:05:49,524 because I'm not Jewish. 73 00:05:49,596 --> 00:05:52,087 And from the meat market to the marriage market. 74 00:05:52,165 --> 00:05:55,760 Charlotte, it doesn't work that way. I'm not kosher. I'm conservative. 75 00:05:55,835 --> 00:05:57,302 I'm conservative, too. 76 00:05:57,370 --> 00:06:01,101 My conservative doesn't have anything to do with wearing pearls. 77 00:06:01,174 --> 00:06:03,142 Look, I know what you're thinking, okay? 78 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:06,042 "Why did I let things get this far without talking about this? 79 00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:08,046 "Why did I sleep with you or even kiss you?" 80 00:06:08,114 --> 00:06:10,878 - Why did you? - Because I couldn't not kiss you. 81 00:06:11,051 --> 00:06:12,882 Not sleep with you, not see you. 82 00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:15,512 Believe me, I never thought a shiksa goddess like you... 83 00:06:15,588 --> 00:06:17,488 would fall for a putz like me. 84 00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:21,022 You're not a putz. 85 00:06:21,895 --> 00:06:24,022 Do you even know what "putz" means? 86 00:06:24,097 --> 00:06:26,190 Yes, schmuck. 87 00:06:27,434 --> 00:06:29,061 Sure you're not Jewish? 88 00:06:34,274 --> 00:06:36,435 And from Jewish to pooish. 89 00:06:38,712 --> 00:06:40,873 You got a little doody on your forehead. 90 00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:42,141 What? Where? 91 00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:44,513 No. Now you got more. The other side. 92 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:46,108 Which side? 93 00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:50,748 Help! It's not funny. Baby-wipe me. 94 00:06:51,157 --> 00:06:52,647 - Get it off! - "Baby-wipe me." 95 00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:55,456 I did not say it like that. Just get it off. 96 00:06:55,528 --> 00:06:57,291 "Baby-wipe me." 97 00:06:57,363 --> 00:07:00,594 - Let's see how you like it. - No, Miranda! 98 00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:04,029 No, knock it off! 99 00:07:04,104 --> 00:07:06,834 Brady, tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy. 100 00:07:08,475 --> 00:07:09,669 What? 101 00:07:12,011 --> 00:07:15,310 I don't think it's funny. You weren't the one with shit on your face. 102 00:07:15,381 --> 00:07:16,643 You were chasing me. 103 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:19,549 I don't have time for this. I have to get up early. 104 00:07:19,753 --> 00:07:22,779 I don't know why you're here. You dropped off the baby hours ago. 105 00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:25,654 I don't have time to stand around while you read the paper... 106 00:07:25,725 --> 00:07:27,420 and order food in... 107 00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:29,228 Don't you have a life? 108 00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:31,863 I got a life. 109 00:07:34,134 --> 00:07:35,533 Bye, Brady. 110 00:07:43,109 --> 00:07:44,906 I'm in love with Steve. 111 00:07:44,978 --> 00:07:46,240 Hold this. 112 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:50,373 Oh, my God, I can't believe it. 113 00:07:51,217 --> 00:07:53,685 Come on, are you seriously telling me you didn't know? 114 00:07:53,787 --> 00:07:56,085 I knew. I just can't believe you admitted it. 115 00:07:56,156 --> 00:07:58,090 I need a drink. What have you got? 116 00:07:58,158 --> 00:07:59,955 It's 11:30 on a Saturday morning. 117 00:08:00,026 --> 00:08:03,484 Did you not hear me just say I was in love with Steve? 118 00:08:04,397 --> 00:08:07,298 I think I got an old bottle of Kahlúa somewhere. 119 00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,532 Okay, hold on there, Brady. 120 00:08:10,603 --> 00:08:12,696 Mama needs a cocktail. 121 00:08:12,772 --> 00:08:15,605 Last night, we were in the dining room, and we were laughing. 122 00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:18,974 All of a sudden, I looked over at him and I realized... 123 00:08:19,646 --> 00:08:21,341 we belong together. 124 00:08:25,852 --> 00:08:28,412 So I picked a fight and threw him out of my apartment. 125 00:08:28,488 --> 00:08:29,819 Good thinking. 126 00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:34,055 These Triscuits have been here since the mid-'80s. 127 00:08:34,127 --> 00:08:36,789 I so cannot be in love with Steve. 128 00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:39,593 Steve so is not the guy for me. 129 00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:43,058 - Miranda... - You're right. 130 00:08:44,037 --> 00:08:45,595 Steve so is the guy for me. 131 00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:48,539 No, I was just asking if Brady can eat crackers yet. 132 00:08:48,608 --> 00:08:49,734 No. 133 00:08:49,809 --> 00:08:52,471 How can I have been wrong all these years? 134 00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:56,413 You weren't wrong. It just took you a while to get here. 135 00:08:58,985 --> 00:09:00,316 What are you gonna do? 136 00:09:00,386 --> 00:09:03,219 I don't know. I have a lot invested in this relationship. 137 00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:06,952 - Plus we have the baby. - Plus you said you were in love with him. 138 00:09:09,162 --> 00:09:10,959 So how are you gonna tell him? 139 00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:14,124 Maybe I should take him somewhere romantic... 140 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,724 where I can't start a fight. 141 00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:19,238 My God, Miranda. Do you know what this means? 142 00:09:19,939 --> 00:09:22,430 You're asking Steve out on a date. 143 00:09:26,613 --> 00:09:28,171 - Hi, Samantha. - Hiya. 144 00:09:28,248 --> 00:09:30,011 You're looking good, Sam. 145 00:09:32,619 --> 00:09:34,280 That night, as Samantha walked home... 146 00:09:34,387 --> 00:09:37,049 past her friendly neighborhood bar, the Rampole... 147 00:09:37,123 --> 00:09:39,216 she saw something truly upsetting. 148 00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:51,767 Just what we need: Another Wall Street asshole with money. 149 00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:03,144 Hold the door! 150 00:10:06,552 --> 00:10:08,816 Hi, thanks. I live here. 151 00:10:08,888 --> 00:10:11,220 See, here are my keys. 152 00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:13,923 Chip Kilkenny. I've just moved in. 153 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:16,552 Samantha Jones. 3F. 154 00:10:16,863 --> 00:10:18,763 I'm 4F. You're right under me. 155 00:10:18,831 --> 00:10:20,526 That sounds promising. 156 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:22,729 That's quite a car. 157 00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:25,535 I love a nice Hummer. 158 00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:29,671 Good night. 159 00:10:36,349 --> 00:10:39,512 And uptown, in a slightly less obvious maneuver... 160 00:10:40,119 --> 00:10:42,747 - I'm close. - Honey! 161 00:10:43,456 --> 00:10:47,654 Is this whole Jewish thing really that big a deal? 162 00:10:47,727 --> 00:10:50,628 No! God! 163 00:10:57,637 --> 00:11:00,299 The next morning, bright and early... 164 00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:03,331 Good morning. 165 00:11:04,377 --> 00:11:06,368 There's a happy face. 166 00:11:06,779 --> 00:11:08,679 I am a happy face. 167 00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:12,779 It's a beautiful morning, and the sun is shining. 168 00:11:13,319 --> 00:11:15,913 And you changed your mind about the Jewish thing. 169 00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,618 - What Jewish thing? When? - Last night. 170 00:11:20,093 --> 00:11:22,254 I asked you if it was that important to you... 171 00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:24,125 - and you said no. - I did? 172 00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:25,522 Yeah. 173 00:11:26,032 --> 00:11:28,762 When we were making love, right before you came. 174 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:30,393 How could you not remember? 175 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:34,236 Charlotte, honey, I can't remember my own name right before I come. 176 00:11:34,774 --> 00:11:36,207 That's what you said. 177 00:11:36,275 --> 00:11:40,109 Asking me to renounce Judaism during sex is a clear manipulation. 178 00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,771 Blah, blah, blah! 179 00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:45,011 I just don't understand. Why is it so important to you? 180 00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:48,553 I promised my mother I would marry a Jew. 181 00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:50,049 Your mother? 182 00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:52,455 Charlotte had had her fill of potential husbands... 183 00:11:52,525 --> 00:11:54,083 and their demanding mothers. 184 00:11:54,193 --> 00:11:56,957 Harry's stock suddenly began to plummet. 185 00:11:58,197 --> 00:11:59,824 Right before she died. 186 00:11:59,899 --> 00:12:02,424 And just like that, it was up again. 187 00:12:03,403 --> 00:12:05,928 I'm very sorry your mother is no longer with us... 188 00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:08,473 because if she met me... 189 00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:11,704 She'd fall in love with you like I did and not care? 190 00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:14,110 No. Jews don't think like that. 191 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,980 Keeping tradition alive was very important to her. 192 00:12:17,050 --> 00:12:19,416 She lost family in the Holocaust. 193 00:12:21,354 --> 00:12:22,548 What? 194 00:12:24,457 --> 00:12:28,655 Now I can't say anything because you've brought up the Holocaust. 195 00:12:33,032 --> 00:12:35,262 Hi, it's me. Leave a message. 196 00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:37,525 Hi, it's Jack. 197 00:12:38,237 --> 00:12:40,432 Berger, not Kerouac. 198 00:12:40,706 --> 00:12:42,105 I wanted to clear that up. 199 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:44,700 So, you're probably standing there screening. 200 00:12:44,777 --> 00:12:47,541 Way to play it. I'm a big fan of the screen. 201 00:12:47,713 --> 00:12:50,910 In fact, don't pick up or I'll just... I'll panic and hang up. 202 00:12:50,983 --> 00:12:52,507 Don't pick up. 203 00:12:52,585 --> 00:12:55,486 I'm not ready for actual voice-on-voice action. 204 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:57,079 So I'm jumping right in... 205 00:12:57,156 --> 00:13:00,455 and suggesting dinner and a movie for the big date. 206 00:13:00,526 --> 00:13:03,586 Everybody's really been loving that movie, Craig's Room. 207 00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,593 Why don't we go and hate it? 208 00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:07,428 Here come the movie times. 209 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,697 We have 5.'15, we have 7.'00... 210 00:13:10,937 --> 00:13:13,804 And he calculated which times and which theaters... 211 00:13:13,873 --> 00:13:16,569 would be least crowded, which says, "take charge." 212 00:13:16,642 --> 00:13:20,134 Yet left the restaurant choice to me, which says, "flexible." 213 00:13:20,446 --> 00:13:23,381 All in all, the perfect machine message. 214 00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:27,050 I think Berger and I are going to be very happy together. 215 00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,381 I love this time before the first date when you can say things like that... 216 00:13:31,457 --> 00:13:32,856 and almost believe them. 217 00:13:32,925 --> 00:13:35,917 - Why all the drama? - Because I really like him. 218 00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:38,829 And you can imagine what that does to a girl. 219 00:13:38,898 --> 00:13:41,662 Got it. Say no more. Really, say no more. 220 00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:44,596 Right after, I got a message from this other fellow... 221 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,104 who I've known for a year, suddenly asking me out... 222 00:13:47,173 --> 00:13:48,663 which only proves my theory: 223 00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:51,676 The only thing a girl needs to get a date is another date. 224 00:13:51,744 --> 00:13:52,768 Your stock is up. 225 00:13:52,845 --> 00:13:55,177 - And did you say yes? - No, I already have a date. 226 00:13:55,248 --> 00:13:57,443 Which is why you should say yes to the other one. 227 00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:59,883 You're putting a lot of pressure on this Berger date. 228 00:13:59,952 --> 00:14:03,012 Charlotte's right. You need to do something to take the edge off. 229 00:14:03,089 --> 00:14:05,284 I am not going on a simu-date. 230 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:08,884 How many new outfits have you bought for this movie? Be honest. 231 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:11,259 None. Six. All returnable. 232 00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:15,359 All right, maybe just a casual coffee to take the edge off Berger. 233 00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:16,628 Exactly. 234 00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:20,798 Later that day, I got to thinking about the stock market and dating. 235 00:14:20,873 --> 00:14:22,568 Are they really that different? 236 00:14:22,642 --> 00:14:25,668 If you have a bad stock, you can lose your shirt. 237 00:14:25,745 --> 00:14:29,146 If you have a bad date, you can lose your will to live. 238 00:14:29,215 --> 00:14:32,878 And if the date is good, the stakes get even higher. 239 00:14:33,953 --> 00:14:36,251 After weathering all the ups and downs... 240 00:14:36,322 --> 00:14:39,189 you could one day find yourself with nothing. 241 00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:42,960 When it comes to finance and dating... 242 00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:45,054 I couldn't help but wonder.' 243 00:14:45,131 --> 00:14:47,622 "Why do we keep investing?" 244 00:14:52,071 --> 00:14:54,596 And speaking of high-risk investments... 245 00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:04,707 Hey, it's me. I'm not here. 246 00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:08,015 Try me at Scout.' 957-7297. 247 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,917 Don't forget the 212. 248 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:14,683 Hi, Steve. 249 00:15:16,829 --> 00:15:19,559 I need to talk to you about something. 250 00:15:19,632 --> 00:15:21,361 How about we do it over dinner? 251 00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:24,494 How's tomorrow night? Magda can sit with Brady. 252 00:15:25,071 --> 00:15:27,335 Let me know. Bye. 253 00:15:28,574 --> 00:15:30,599 It's Miranda and... 254 00:15:31,177 --> 00:15:32,337 Bye. 255 00:15:32,912 --> 00:15:36,939 Miranda feared it was possibly the most imperfect machine message ever. 256 00:15:38,951 --> 00:15:42,045 And Samantha decided to say it with a basket. 257 00:15:50,997 --> 00:15:52,760 Welcome Wagon. 258 00:15:52,832 --> 00:15:54,163 Hi. 259 00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:56,534 Excuse the towel. I was just gonna shower. 260 00:15:56,602 --> 00:15:58,627 I brought you a basket filled with goodies... 261 00:15:58,704 --> 00:16:00,729 to acquaint you with your new neighborhood. 262 00:16:00,806 --> 00:16:03,707 Cheese, prosciutto, condoms, handcuffs. 263 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:06,710 - Handcuffs? - From the bar next door. 264 00:16:07,913 --> 00:16:09,039 Enjoy. 265 00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:12,609 If I reach for that, my towel will fall. 266 00:16:12,752 --> 00:16:14,117 I'm no fool. 267 00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:25,695 A little while later, Samantha blew Chip the stockbroker. 268 00:16:27,099 --> 00:16:28,589 Yes! 269 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,563 Now that's what I call eating in. 270 00:16:36,575 --> 00:16:39,772 I never do this, but here's a tip. 271 00:16:40,212 --> 00:16:44,205 Elan Pharmaceuticals is gonna go straight through the roof. 272 00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:46,376 Elan Pharmaceuticals. 273 00:16:49,789 --> 00:16:52,314 - Thanks. - No, thank you. 274 00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,591 That was the best F-ing head of my life. 275 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:59,797 Just like that, their mutual fun... 276 00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:01,867 turned into mutual funds. 277 00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:06,731 Later that week, I met graphic designer Willy Applegate... 278 00:17:06,972 --> 00:17:09,133 for a late afternoon simu-date. 279 00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:10,800 This is a cute place. 280 00:17:10,876 --> 00:17:13,174 I hope it's okay. I didn't know. 281 00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:16,146 But I figured, you can't go wrong with a garden, right? 282 00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:18,445 - Yeah, it's great. - I hope it's okay. 283 00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:21,779 I didn't know. I just said that. 284 00:17:22,955 --> 00:17:25,890 It suddenly became clear that a simu-date for me... 285 00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,949 was a first date for him. 286 00:17:28,928 --> 00:17:32,125 Are you looking at my sty? 287 00:17:32,498 --> 00:17:34,227 - Excuse me? - My sty. 288 00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,198 I have a sty. See, right here. 289 00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,362 I was gonna cancel, but then I thought: 290 00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:41,372 "Maybe she won't even notice it." 291 00:17:41,474 --> 00:17:43,169 I didn't even... 292 00:17:43,242 --> 00:17:45,767 - No, I wasn't looking at it. - That's good. 293 00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:54,419 What was that? Have you ever seen anything like it? 294 00:17:54,487 --> 00:17:56,148 No, I have never. 295 00:17:56,288 --> 00:17:58,256 This is a bad choice of place. I'm sorry. 296 00:17:58,324 --> 00:17:59,951 No, it's fine. 297 00:18:00,025 --> 00:18:03,688 It's fun. It's like a "cappuccino wilderness safari." 298 00:18:09,368 --> 00:18:11,666 Balsamic vinegar in my sty. 299 00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:14,195 God, here. 300 00:18:17,243 --> 00:18:19,575 Thanks. Could this go any worse? 301 00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:24,039 What the fuck? 302 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:28,982 I'm fine. 303 00:18:29,722 --> 00:18:33,021 It was a sudden crash no analyst had seen coming. 304 00:18:34,427 --> 00:18:36,395 And in yet another type of market... 305 00:18:36,462 --> 00:18:40,228 I hope you're happy now. I'm twice as nervous about my Berger date. 306 00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:42,767 Caring too much is like a disaster magnet. 307 00:18:42,835 --> 00:18:44,200 Poor guy. 308 00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:47,068 Can you catch a sty helping someone up from gravel? 309 00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:48,868 Where's the homeopathic section? 310 00:18:48,941 --> 00:18:51,136 Maybe they make something called "Sty-B-Gone." 311 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,646 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 312 00:18:54,713 --> 00:18:57,807 I'm thrown by the change of topic, but I do appreciate the trivia. 313 00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:00,181 I'm reading her book My Love Affair with Jewelry. 314 00:19:00,252 --> 00:19:01,480 Not surprising. 315 00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:04,352 She changed her religion for the man she loved. 316 00:19:04,423 --> 00:19:06,618 And a big old, honking piece of jewelry. 317 00:19:06,692 --> 00:19:10,253 - Don't be so cynical. - Sorry, it's my potential sty talking. 318 00:19:10,329 --> 00:19:12,593 Love. She did it for love. 319 00:19:13,098 --> 00:19:15,965 Are you thinking of pulling an Elizabeth Taylor? 320 00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:19,736 I need more information. There's more to being a Jew than jewelry. 321 00:19:19,805 --> 00:19:22,433 Wise words. I'll meet you at the checkout. 322 00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:37,949 Charlotte wondered just how far she would go for her true love. 323 00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:47,258 Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher? 324 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:51,230 Now don't get too excited. We're just trading information here. 325 00:19:51,303 --> 00:19:52,395 Okay. 326 00:19:52,738 --> 00:19:56,640 From a not excited place I ask, is this something you might consider? 327 00:19:57,343 --> 00:20:00,506 I'm just trying to understand what's so special about being a Jew. 328 00:20:00,579 --> 00:20:02,979 - I feel like I'm on a game show. - I'm serious. 329 00:20:03,048 --> 00:20:06,347 If this is really your bottom line, then you're gonna have to try... 330 00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:10,047 and give me a reason, aside from your mother, that I can relate to. 331 00:20:16,695 --> 00:20:18,356 If we were to get married... 332 00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:20,864 Now, we're just trading information here. 333 00:20:22,234 --> 00:20:25,032 ...I would want our children to be raised Jewish. 334 00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:28,636 Charlotte realized it was time to reveal to Harry... 335 00:20:28,807 --> 00:20:30,365 her bottom line. 336 00:20:31,911 --> 00:20:36,371 If that's really the reason, then I have to tell you something. 337 00:20:43,789 --> 00:20:46,417 I may not be able to give you children. 338 00:20:47,192 --> 00:20:50,855 I'm challenged in the reproductive area. 339 00:20:51,697 --> 00:20:55,224 It's not hopeless, but it's difficult. 340 00:20:57,770 --> 00:21:01,968 I guess I should have brought it up sooner, but I never thought we'd even... 341 00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:04,175 I understand if you... 342 00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:05,875 Charlotte. 343 00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,013 I love you. 344 00:21:09,582 --> 00:21:14,076 You are the most wonderful thing that could ever happen to a schmuck like me. 345 00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:16,985 You're not a schmuck. 346 00:21:17,323 --> 00:21:18,756 You're a putz. 347 00:21:19,892 --> 00:21:21,587 Seriously, Harry... 348 00:21:22,428 --> 00:21:24,259 you want a family... 349 00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,891 and what if I couldn't give that to you? 350 00:21:30,569 --> 00:21:32,503 We'd adopt or something. 351 00:21:33,405 --> 00:21:35,600 But they wouldn't be your own. 352 00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:39,433 What are you gonna do? 353 00:21:39,511 --> 00:21:42,071 Charlotte York was deeply touched... 354 00:21:42,147 --> 00:21:46,174 by Harry Goldenblatt's humor, compassion, and acceptance. 355 00:21:46,752 --> 00:21:50,552 "If this is Jewish," she thought, "that's worth looking into." 356 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:53,991 Meanwhile, downtown, Samantha had moved her neighbor... 357 00:21:54,059 --> 00:21:57,495 from stocks and bonds to stockings and bondage. 358 00:21:59,531 --> 00:22:01,260 Go away. I'm busy. 359 00:22:03,769 --> 00:22:06,260 - Miss Jones. - Juan. 360 00:22:08,907 --> 00:22:11,432 - Who the fuck are you? - FBI. 361 00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:14,104 Get dressed. You're under arrest for insider trading. 362 00:22:14,179 --> 00:22:16,704 Turns out, Chip Kilkenny was quite the ladies' man. 363 00:22:16,782 --> 00:22:20,115 And every time a woman went down, the Dow went up. 364 00:22:20,185 --> 00:22:22,449 Ma'am, can you undo your cuffs so we can use ours? 365 00:22:22,521 --> 00:22:23,783 Surely. 366 00:22:24,023 --> 00:22:26,719 All the good ones are getting arrested. 367 00:22:31,230 --> 00:22:34,996 And at a romantic restaurant, a 37-year-old single mother... 368 00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,666 found herself on a first date. 369 00:22:38,837 --> 00:22:40,361 You look pretty. 370 00:22:41,340 --> 00:22:43,171 You got a date later? 371 00:22:43,409 --> 00:22:45,400 No, it's just the dress. 372 00:22:47,146 --> 00:22:50,547 Jeez Louise, it's dark in here. I can barely read my menu. 373 00:22:50,616 --> 00:22:52,846 We need like another candle or something. 374 00:22:52,918 --> 00:22:54,852 I think it's kind of nice. 375 00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:02,758 I asked you here because... 376 00:23:02,861 --> 00:23:05,887 I wanted to explain why I picked a fight with you last week. 377 00:23:05,964 --> 00:23:09,866 Miranda, I know you. And I know why you picked a fight with me. 378 00:23:10,402 --> 00:23:11,926 - You do? - Yeah. 379 00:23:12,771 --> 00:23:15,137 You're upset 'cause I'm hanging around too much. 380 00:23:15,207 --> 00:23:18,540 You think I'm getting too close. But you don't have to worry. 381 00:23:19,011 --> 00:23:21,002 I just started seeing someone else... 382 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,446 and it's going really good. 383 00:23:23,549 --> 00:23:25,813 So please relax. 384 00:23:27,219 --> 00:23:29,585 I'm not in love with you anymore. 385 00:23:38,964 --> 00:23:42,229 All that stuff I said to you about Steve never happened. 386 00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:45,270 Don't mention it to anyone. Don't think about it. 387 00:23:45,337 --> 00:23:48,773 Don't even so much as give me a look like you might be thinking about it. 388 00:23:48,841 --> 00:23:52,572 Like that look. I can't ever, never see that look again. 389 00:23:52,878 --> 00:23:56,541 Calm down. I think you're overreacting to that thing that never happened. 390 00:23:56,615 --> 00:24:00,051 If you think I'm overreacting here, you should be inside my head. 391 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,916 I have to say this next thing... 392 00:24:01,987 --> 00:24:05,582 but I will play along and not look at you while I say it. 393 00:24:06,592 --> 00:24:09,322 Maybe if you had told Steve anyway... 394 00:24:09,394 --> 00:24:12,522 I swear to God, I love you but I will have to kill you. 395 00:24:13,031 --> 00:24:16,194 Brady, come on. Work with Mommy here. Please! 396 00:24:16,368 --> 00:24:19,235 I'm sorry, but I'm looking and I'm talking. 397 00:24:19,938 --> 00:24:21,701 This is your life. 398 00:24:21,807 --> 00:24:24,776 You two have a baby together. It is not high school. 399 00:24:25,444 --> 00:24:27,002 Isn't that Berger? 400 00:24:30,682 --> 00:24:33,480 - God, I look like shit! - You don't look like shit. 401 00:24:33,552 --> 00:24:36,578 I look like shit. This is not my perfect outfit. 402 00:24:37,322 --> 00:24:38,949 - Are you leaving? - Yeah, bye. 403 00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:41,615 Oh, God. Shit! 404 00:24:54,873 --> 00:24:57,671 I was just entering the safety zone when... 405 00:24:59,111 --> 00:25:00,373 There he was. 406 00:25:00,445 --> 00:25:03,710 My emotional equivalent to the big crash of '29.' 407 00:25:04,583 --> 00:25:05,743 Aidan. 408 00:25:24,369 --> 00:25:26,496 - Look at you. - Look at you. 409 00:25:26,572 --> 00:25:29,097 - I had a baby. - I have a date. 410 00:25:32,044 --> 00:25:34,774 That's wonderful. This is him? 411 00:25:35,047 --> 00:25:37,845 No, this isn't him. This is a stunt baby. 412 00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:41,285 Yeah, it's him. This is the man: Tate. 413 00:25:41,687 --> 00:25:44,281 I call him Tater 'cause he looks like one, you know. 414 00:25:44,389 --> 00:25:46,084 No hair, big eyes. 415 00:25:46,925 --> 00:25:49,052 He's cool. Aren't you, Tate? 416 00:25:49,361 --> 00:25:52,296 - So where are you running to? - Home. 417 00:25:53,665 --> 00:25:55,599 So things are good? They look good. 418 00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:59,296 I'm just hanging out in front of this fabric store waiting for Tate's mom. 419 00:25:59,371 --> 00:26:02,397 All right, don't laugh. I married another furniture designer. 420 00:26:02,474 --> 00:26:04,305 - Really? - Yeah. What are you gonna do? 421 00:26:04,376 --> 00:26:06,367 Yep. You can't fight city hall. 422 00:26:06,912 --> 00:26:08,903 Cathy. She's great. 423 00:26:09,781 --> 00:26:12,682 - You wanna come and meet her? - Another time. 424 00:26:12,985 --> 00:26:15,112 - I really have to run. - Okay. 425 00:26:16,054 --> 00:26:17,248 Bye, Tate. 426 00:26:21,526 --> 00:26:23,084 Oh, God, Aidan. 427 00:26:26,798 --> 00:26:28,356 It's good to see you. 428 00:26:29,568 --> 00:26:30,865 You, too. 429 00:26:32,938 --> 00:26:36,271 We should get together and have coffee sometime and catch up. 430 00:26:36,341 --> 00:26:38,571 Great. Okay, we'll do that. 431 00:26:40,879 --> 00:26:42,039 Bye. 432 00:26:43,415 --> 00:26:46,543 There is the type of date you can't wait to keep. 433 00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:51,722 And the type of date you both know you'll never keep. 434 00:27:11,109 --> 00:27:15,239 A block later, I realized if Aidan and I could survive that huge a crash... 435 00:27:15,314 --> 00:27:17,009 and both get out alive... 436 00:27:17,082 --> 00:27:19,710 there was nothing I could do on a first date... 437 00:27:19,785 --> 00:27:21,844 I couldn't bounce back from. 438 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,251 Berger, it's Carrie. 439 00:27:24,022 --> 00:27:25,353 Hi, listen. 440 00:27:25,424 --> 00:27:28,860 I'm standing outside the Sony Theater near Lincoln Center... 441 00:27:28,927 --> 00:27:30,986 and Craig's Room starts in half an hour. 442 00:27:31,063 --> 00:27:33,554 And there are no lines. Can you go now? 443 00:27:33,632 --> 00:27:36,465 That's so weird. I'm right in that neighborhood. 444 00:27:37,035 --> 00:27:39,367 Really? Must be fate. 445 00:27:39,438 --> 00:27:41,736 - I'll be right there. - Okay. Bye. 446 00:27:49,681 --> 00:27:51,046 This blows. 447 00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:54,118 I had my special outfit all picked out for tonight. 448 00:27:54,186 --> 00:27:55,380 I got the tickets. 449 00:27:55,454 --> 00:27:58,184 Then I got the popcorn and the assorted chocolate goodies. 450 00:27:58,256 --> 00:28:00,884 - Are you a candy gal? - I am the candy gal. 451 00:28:01,059 --> 00:28:02,686 - 'Cause I'm a candy man. - Yeah? 452 00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:05,127 No, I am serious. Sammy Davis ripped me off. 453 00:28:05,197 --> 00:28:08,223 Sammy Davis. You don't feel the need to use the Junior? 454 00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:09,824 No. Not at all. 455 00:28:10,168 --> 00:28:11,533 - Really? - Nope. 456 00:28:14,706 --> 00:28:17,300 And by close of Wall Street that day... 457 00:28:17,376 --> 00:28:21,813 the NASDAQ was down, but amazingly, our stock was still up. 458 00:28:30,000 --> 00:29:15,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew